The Gift of the Outsider: 6 Days of Faith From the MarginsSýnishorn

The Gift of Suffering and Lament

The American church, by and large, does not know how to lament. If grief can be masked, we mask it. But those who suffer well and give voice to their grief through lament can teach others its importance; they can destigmatize the sorrow, pain, and frustration each believer invariably faces in their life.

Church shouldn’t be a place where we show up put together, blessed, and highly favored, without a care in the world. People should be able to bring their pain, week after week, without fearing others will grow weary of their hurt and dismiss them as needy, oversensitive, or one of those people for whom “there is always something.” For many of us, there is always something, and too often, the church fails to be that hoped‐for haven.

Yet God never receives those with persistent needs—which is all of us—with fatigue or diminished patience. Psalms 56:8 says, “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book” (NLT). God does not begrudge our tears. He sees each drop and treats them tenderly. They are neither forgotten nor tossed aside. Our care for those who suffer, however long or often, should be marked by that same tender patience.

To lament with hope, we need the ability to hold in tension a great and glorious God and the direst of circumstances. In our finite wisdom, we won’t always be able to reconcile God’s beauty and goodness with the world’s ugliness and cruelty—yet we must still be willing to wrestle with the fact that time and chance happen to us all.

Holy lament is the space where we bring neither shame nor resentment but simply bewilderment and pain before the Lord. For some, this is seasonal; for others, it is a regular rhythm of life.

Conclusion

When we slow down to grieve rather than rush forward to chase happiness, lament provides us with the blessed trio of endurance, trust, and hopeful waiting. It’s precisely through our waiting on God, trusting Him, and enduring that we conquer in the end and finally reach our great reward. Lament equips us for this journey.

Reflection

What internal and external factors prevent you from sharing your sadness and sorrows with your community?

How do you respond in the face of others’ sorrow? Would those around you consider you someone they can share their sadness and sorrow with? Why or why not?