The Real Reason You & Your Spouse Can't Talk About Money With Out FightingSýnishorn

A few months ago I had the opportunity to interview Christian marriage expert Shaunti Feldhahn on our SeedTime Money podcast, and the conversation was simply phenomenal! It’s one of those amazing perks of being a podcaster that I get to have conversations like this with such brilliant minds.

In this reading plan, I’d like to explore some of the key takeaways I got from our conversation that have been a huge help to my marriage. My prayer is that they will be helpful for you as well.

In our discussion, Shaunti shared her personal story of how she and her husband, Jeff, avoided talking about money for 22 years in their marriage. Yes, you heard that right – 22 years! They had a wonderful marriage, but when it came to money, silence took over. And as you can imagine, this silence was not a good thing for their marriage.

Can you relate? How many of us love our spouses, but when it comes to money, we tend to tiptoe around the topic.

But here is the truth: Avoiding conversations about money is a form of conflict in itself. And here's another thought to ponder: Money disagreements often aren’t about the money itself.

And this leads us to the real reason so many couples can’t talk about money without fighting: mismatched values and expectations.

If you dig deep into some of your money disagreements with your spouse, I’ll bet you’ll find that your money talks are often laden with your values, insecurities, dreams, and expectations. And this is why they can quickly get so heated!

In fact, some recent research shows a staggering 77% of couples can’t have a conversation about money without tension. And if that is you, then you are in a good place! That’s why you are diving into the Word and reading this plan, right?

So now, let’s take a moment to reflect on our own relationships with our spouses. Have you been avoiding the money talks? Or do you enter them with shields up, ready for battle?

Let’s open our hearts to the idea that understanding each other’s perspectives, fears, and dreams is the first step toward harmonious conversations about money.

Let’s pray:

Dear Heavenly Father, I come before You today with a heart yearning for wisdom and understanding. As I delve into the challenges that money conversations bring into my relationships, Lord, I ask for Your guidance. Help me to see beyond the numbers and grasp the emotions and values attached to these financial talks. Please grant me the wisdom to identify where the disconnect lies and the humility to accept my part in it. In these conversations with my spouse, may my words be graced with love and understanding.

In Jesus name, Amen.