Patient Parenting: Overcoming Anger in Your HomeSýnishorn

Day 4: Anger Motivates You to Address the Problem

In yesterday's devotional, we saw that anger, while needing to be controlled, is also like the red light on the dashboard. It is an indicator that something is wrong and needs to be addressed; just as the red light motivates you to think about your car's engine, anger should cause you to step back and assess the situation in your family.

Then anger should motivate you to make a plan for your heart, your children, or your environment. Yesterday's and tomorrow's devotionals focus on plans for our own hearts. But today, we think very briefly about making plans for our parenting.

Being made in God's image means that we are like him. One way we reflect his image is by ruling our areas of influence well. In Genesis, God tells Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply. He also commands them to have dominion and subdue the earth. Do you see the connection? God says, "Be fruitful and rule well."

You are created to rule! You have the privilege of actually governing your little family under God's care. He has delegated that to you. But you aren't fully developed as a leader. He is going to use family circumstances to grow you in wisdom. Frustrations in the home should drive you back to him so that you can be a more skillful shepherd.

Though we cannot go into detail here, consider the following questions to help you grow in leadership wisdom.

Am I taking time to think about the parenting challenges I am facing? So many times, we rush from upset to upset without reflecting on what caused the previous upset. In prayer, review what triggered the last incident.

Have I taken the time to create a plan? The issue you just faced that caused your anger will happen again. What is your plan? Will you give out a consequence? Will you change the environment? What will you do differently? Reflection should lead to a plan.

Am I using actions instead of words? Too often, parents of young children use too many words and not enough action. When we are driving an automobile, what causes us to slow down? Is it a lecture from a police officer or the consequence of a speeding ticket? Like us, our children respond to consequences. Preplanned consequences are much more effective than corrective words with young children.

Am I giving my children too much freedom? Our children come to us in a state of total dependency. The goal is to move them from dependence to independence over time. But notice the phrase over time. We don't allow our five-year-old to drive a car. But we don't want to chauffeur around our 25-year-old. In this gradual move from structure to freedom, giving our children more freedom than they can handle is possible. Dialing back some of the freedom we have given young children may prevent some of our problems.

Those are just a few short principles to help you grow as a wise leader. God is developing you—yes you! He is using these little children to mature and train you. Don't take this training experience lightly!

Prayer:

Father, thank you for how you rule this world, even amidst our sin. You are the perfect king. What a privilege you have delegated some of that authority to me as I rule over my little household. But I need your wisdom in this. Teach me wisdom principles that will make my home a loving, joyful, and orderly place. Help me learn from each situation where I become upset to be a better shepherd. I pray this in Jesus' name. Amen.