Grieving as an Enneagram 1Sýnishorn

Grief is confusing.

I felt this profoundly in the days, weeks, and months after the loss of my beloved father, Nick, in the midst of the pandemic.

I imagine that’s true for any personality type. But for the Enneagram One, grappling with what to do about the loss is a challenge. That’s because many of us are “recovering perfectionists.”

We like to get things right.

There’s the loss of the loved one, which is terrible in and of itself. Then there are all the circumstances around the loss that you have to sort through in the midst of a reality you can’t change.

For personalities that thrive on order, that's disorienting.

Grief can be layered with trauma, distance from ones we love and want to grieve with, as well as with what-ifs. Life, in the midst of grief, can feel totally upended.

Whatever the circumstances around your loss, just know that your ears may start to ring like the scene from a film when a bomb goes off, where the character staggers around, disoriented, surrounded by rubble. Or, like a beleaguered solider, who staggers in the confusion of a battle.

Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now, one thing remains true: God is an ever-present help in your time of trouble. He is there. With you in the midst of it.

Even if you can’t feel that or are struggling to believe that, speaking that verse out loud can clear the fog, bring comfort to the soul, and quiet your mind.

God, in our grief we whisper today that You are an ever-present help in a time of trouble.