Happily Even After: 5 Tools to Heal Your Marriage, by Dannah GreshSýnishorn

Happily Even After: 5 Tools to Heal Your Marriage, by Dannah Gresh

DAY 6 OF 6

Day 6: LOVE is the remedy for sin.

God had promised Abram that his family tree would be so plentiful that each star in the sky represented one descendant. But the older Abram grew, with no children in sight, the harder that promise seemed to believe. So Abram asks, “Oh Lord God, how am I to know that I shall possess it?”

In answer, God told Abram to go get some animals to sacrifice.

Now, that would’ve been exciting news to Abram. The God of the universe was inviting him to practice the very familiar ancient ritual of covenant! These thoughts from a Ligonier Ministries devotional might help us understand:

When covenants were made in the ancient Near East, certain rites would accompany the agreement in order to signify what would happen if one or both parties failed to live up to their end of the pact. One common ritual involved dismembering animals and then laying the pieces in two rows side-by-side with a path between them. The individuals making the covenant would then pass between the animals and invoke a curse upon themselves if they broke the agreement. In performing this rite both parties were in effect saying, “If I do not fulfill the terms of this covenant, may the destruction that befell these animals also be upon my head."

Gulp!

The legally binding nature of a covenant was nothing to be messed with.

Now, here’s what’s astounding about what happened next: only God walked through the row of sacrificed animals. Abram did not.

To someone in the ancient world, it would have been unheard of for only the stronger of two parties to walk through the pieces of the animal sacrifice. But that’s exactly what happened.

Once the bloody pieces were arranged, God caused Abram to fall asleep. Then God’s presence moved between the pieces of sacrificed flesh.

This was significant.

God was stating the obvious: Abram’s not capable of keeping his end of the bargain. And yet the God of the universe was declaring, “If this covenant is broken—and it will be—may I be as these bloodied sacrificed animals.”

And eventually, He was.

Jesus Christ would be broken and bloodied for us. When He died for you and for me, He was fulfilling the Abrahamic covenant and establishing a new one (Hebrews 9:15). His death was His faithful act to redeem us even though no human had ever lived up to the covenant agreements of the Old Testament.

Jesus’ death on the cross both satisfied the law and protected love.

Marriage is meant to display that kind of covenant love.

Kathy Keller once said: “Together a husband and wife living out their roles of headship and submission can display the fullness of the glory of Christ and the gospel in a powerful way. We each get to play the Jesus role.” Her intention was to explain that women have the honor of displaying Christ’s submission to the Father’s plan (Philippians 2). And men have the responsibility to display the headship of Christ (Ephesians 5). When we do this well, both the husband and the wife “play the Jesus role.”

Let me emphasize that doing this well is essential for a marriage to be an accurate portrayal of Christ’s love. If only one individual determines to live according to covenant love, they are at incredible risk of being exploited by the other partner. This is why wise counsel and mindful consideration are critical both before marriage and when a partnership hits a broken spot.

But when both husband and wife rise up to the expectations of covenant love, both “play the Jesus role.”

Marriage should be characterized by unfailing love because it was meant to portray unfailing covenant love. And that kind of love possesses unique staying power. Why? Because it’s focused on the needs of the other person, not personal happiness.

Am I saying you can’t be happy in a covenant marriage? Of course not. I’ve often experienced tremendous joy and happiness in mine. But happiness is honestly beside the point. Covenant love is about something richer, deeper, more fulfilling, and redemptive than just how we feel. And sometimes it takes a time of brokenness for us to understand the truth and the power of that kind of love.

Pray God’s Word: Lord, help me to play my part in protecting the covenant love in our marriage. Give me your sacrificial nature to rise up when my husband does not or cannot. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Has this study been helpful? For a deep dive into the five tools of redemption, order Dannah’s book here.

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About this Plan

Happily Even After: 5 Tools to Heal Your Marriage, by Dannah Gresh

This reading plan uses excerpts from Dannah Gresh’s book, Happily Even After: Let God Redeem Your Marriage. It’s for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. God has already equipped you for this trial. Dannah will point your gaze toward five powerful tools you need to participate in God’s redemption for your marriage.

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