Biblical CourtshipSýnishorn

Rules of Courtship

Some movements in the church create cultures with practices we embrace just because others do. We are all accountable to God for our conscious decisions (Romans 14:12, 22-23). We must be informed by the Word and conduct ourselves truthfully without succumbing to cultural pressures. We will look at five major guidelines that we need to follow in a courtship.

Rule #1: Sex is exclusive to marriage.

Having sex before marriage is defrauding a person, according to the text of 1 Thessalonians 4:3-7. The sexual act is not simple: it is an act that represents the reality that two people have come together.

Rule #2: Your body is exclusive to your spouse.

Your body belongs to your future spouse (1 Corinthians 7:1-4, Proverbs 5:15-19). Before getting married, remember that you should save yourself for that person. You cannot guarantee that a current dating relationship will end in marriage. In other words, you shouldn’t bond in this way with your partner until after the wedding.

Rule #3: Your heart is exclusive to your spouse.

Ephesians 5:31 points out that in marriage, we become one with our spouse and share our whole lives. Every young person in a courtship must care for their heart to avoid exposing it inappropriately. A relationship must develop in a progressive way: as the relationship grows, the more the heart is given to the other person. Flattery and physical expressions of affection are appropriate for each stage of the relationship.

Rule #4: Parents have a voice in your choice.

The Bible mentions that parents have authority over their children until they marry (Genesis 2:24). This implies that parents have a voice in the development of the courtship as long as biblical principles guide them and what they ask for is reasonable within the reality of the single person. If parents are not involved in their children’s lives, the role of exercising authority and giving advice would be placed on a the church or a trusted individual.

Rule #5: The Bible is exclusive to guide us.

The Bible must govern all relationships, not cultural pressures (2 Timothy 3:16-17). The world may tell you that you have to see if you have sexual compatibility with your partner before marriage or if there is chemistry between the two of you, but this should not interfere with the reality that the Bible prohibits all types of sexual relations before marriage.

A believer must trust that it is more important to have theological compatibility than sexual compatibility. I pray we will not take the wrong step while courting in Jesus’ name; amen.