Overcoming PornSýnishorn

Get into a Spiritual and Relational Growth Environment

One of the biggest drivers in our use of porn is a desire for deep relational connectedness. Everyone desires to be known, loved, and accepted. People were created as relational beings by a triune God who has eternally existed as one God in three persons—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

We need relationships. Research shows that loneliness is as lethal as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Further, lonely people are 50% more likely to die prematurely. An 80-year Harvard University study found that good relationships keep us happier and healthier. We all have needs that can only be met through other people. We must develop friendships with safe people who won’t judge us, offer unsolicited advice, or tell our business to others. Friendships with people who will simply listen, offer encouragement, and ask how they can help.

For years I stayed trapped in porn addiction and a multitude of other struggles by isolating myself rather than engaging in a healthy spiritual and relational environment. I seriously limited my growth by occasionally sharing how I was really doing and what I was struggling with. In 1 John 1:7, we are instructed to walk in the light, have fellowship with others, and be cleansed from all sin by Jesus. Walking in the light is a daily lifestyle of being fully transparent with Jesus and safe people about our emotional well-being and struggles. Implementing this into my life is one of several steps that God used to set me free from porn and masturbation over nine years ago.

If the God-given longings of our hearts are met in healthy ways, we will feel valued, capable, lovable, important, understood, embraced, and secure. We’ll experience a life of wholeness. Doesn’t this sound like the thriving life we all long for? It is possible, but only in the context of a relationship with God and others.

Healing begins when we connect rather than cope and develop a lifestyle of reaching out rather than acting out. We can aim for a life of no secrets, where each day we are known, loved, supported, and connected with God and others.

God, help me to find safe friends who can help me walk in the light with You. Help me to be a safe friend to others.