Sæktu forritiðA Biblical Approach to Parenting Your AthleteSýnishorn
## The psychology of the Athlete-What is their motivation?
READY:
> “Whatever you do, do it from the heart, as something done for the Lord and not for people.”—Colossians 3:23
SET: Playing for the Audience of One.
There is great diversity in the psychological make-up of youth athletes. Your child might be a perfectionist, afraid of failure, takes the blame for every team loss, or perhaps exhibits laziness and little motivation. These psychological tendencies are helpful to identify early in your child’s life. It will help you help them navigate the pitfalls that accompany these traits.
Perfectionism: The perfectionist is satisfied with nothing less than performance perfection, which is unattainable, leaving a child dissatisfied. Perfectionist usually makes their own parents proud and other parents jealous, but the psychological toll of never achieving perfection prevents them from long-term life satisfaction. Perfectionists especially need reminding they play for “an audience of one”—God is the only One to whom they should please. God judges their motivation and not their performance. Perfectionists “live or die” by comparison—they measure their performance by comparing it with others. The Bible teaches comparison is a foolish way to live.
Fear of failure: Fear of failure affects all areas of your athlete child’s life, resulting in his or her fear of trying new things. This child will likely be unwilling to try sports because the sports environment is one of many failures. The best baseball hitters fail two of three at-bats. The best football quarterbacks fail one of three pass attempts. And the best basketball shooters fail half of their shot attempts. Someone who fears failure will never know the joy of success. Give them words of encouragement and remind them that faith will mobilize them.
Taking the blame: The child that takes the blame for everything in life is a child that needs to embrace God’s grace. A life of always taking the blame is both unhealthy and unbiblical. The Bible speaks much about the undeserved favor of God, known as grace. Always taking the blame leads to dissatisfaction with wins and devastation with losses—not a great formula for enjoyment in sports.
Laziness: A child that gives little effort in their sport could suffer from laziness. Children that don’t have the gumption for maximum effort will create frustration and chaos in the family dynamic. This applies to the child not being forced to play sports but wanting to play. This child will need a lot of love, understanding, discipline, and structure.
WORKOUT: Bible Verses
2 Corinthians 10:12
Ephesians 2:8-9
Proverbs 18:9
2 Timothy 1:7
GO:
1\. Which of the verses provided seem to speak to a personality trait your child struggles with? How might it help you encourage your child?
2\. Which of the verses provided seem to speak to a personality trait you struggled with? How might you apply that verse to your life?
3\. What is the takeaway you gained from this lesson?
OVERTIME: Practice Session
1\. Do you see consistent traits in your athlete child’s personality that match one of the four categories mentioned in this lesson? If so, how might you engage your child in a conversation, disclosing what you have observed in them and sharing the Bible verse that could be helpful?
What Motivates Them? Testimonial
READY:
> “Whatever you do, do it from the heart, as something done for the Lord and not for people.”—Colossians 3:23
SET: Playing for the Audience of One.
There is great diversity in the psychological make-up of youth athletes. Your child might be a perfectionist, afraid of failure, takes the blame for every team loss, or perhaps exhibits laziness and little motivation. These psychological tendencies are helpful to identify early in your child’s life. It will help you help them navigate the pitfalls that accompany these traits.
Perfectionism: The perfectionist is satisfied with nothing less than performance perfection, which is unattainable, leaving a child dissatisfied. Perfectionist usually makes their own parents proud and other parents jealous, but the psychological toll of never achieving perfection prevents them from long-term life satisfaction. Perfectionists especially need reminding they play for “an audience of one”—God is the only One to whom they should please. God judges their motivation and not their performance. Perfectionists “live or die” by comparison—they measure their performance by comparing it with others. The Bible teaches comparison is a foolish way to live.
Fear of failure: Fear of failure affects all areas of your athlete child’s life, resulting in his or her fear of trying new things. This child will likely be unwilling to try sports because the sports environment is one of many failures. The best baseball hitters fail two of three at-bats. The best football quarterbacks fail one of three pass attempts. And the best basketball shooters fail half of their shot attempts. Someone who fears failure will never know the joy of success. Give them words of encouragement and remind them that faith will mobilize them.
Taking the blame: The child that takes the blame for everything in life is a child that needs to embrace God’s grace. A life of always taking the blame is both unhealthy and unbiblical. The Bible speaks much about the undeserved favor of God, known as grace. Always taking the blame leads to dissatisfaction with wins and devastation with losses—not a great formula for enjoyment in sports.
Laziness: A child that gives little effort in their sport could suffer from laziness. Children that don’t have the gumption for maximum effort will create frustration and chaos in the family dynamic. This applies to the child not being forced to play sports but wanting to play. This child will need a lot of love, understanding, discipline, and structure.
WORKOUT: Bible Verses
2 Corinthians 10:12
Ephesians 2:8-9
Proverbs 18:9
2 Timothy 1:7
GO:
1\. Which of the verses provided seem to speak to a personality trait your child struggles with? How might it help you encourage your child?
2\. Which of the verses provided seem to speak to a personality trait you struggled with? How might you apply that verse to your life?
3\. What is the takeaway you gained from this lesson?
OVERTIME: Practice Session
1\. Do you see consistent traits in your athlete child’s personality that match one of the four categories mentioned in this lesson? If so, how might you engage your child in a conversation, disclosing what you have observed in them and sharing the Bible verse that could be helpful?
What Motivates Them? Testimonial
About this Plan
Have you ever argued with your child or spouse after a game? Have you ever wanted to confront your child’s coach? Have youth sports completely seized your family life? If you’ve had similar experiences, then this 12-day plan is for you.
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