Killing ComparisonSýnishorn

We have spent the last few days exploring the origins and outcomes of toxic comparison in our lives. Today and tomorrow I want to focus our attention on how to harness the power of healthy comparison so we can kill toxic comparison in our lives.

Our focus verse is an important call to action, saying in Matthew 7:12:

"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets."

When our insecurity gets triggered, we feel left out, overlooked, less than, and discouraged. But, what if we turned those feelings on their head to commit ourselves to making sure others don't feel that way because of our actions? What if we made an intentional effort to include, celebrate, encourage, and affirm people when we're feeling left out, overlooked, discouraged, and not good enough? This is what our verse is leading us to do because killing comparison requires being for others what we wish others would be for us.

Case in point. I received an email inviting me to a gathering for influencers—people who are considered leaders in their various fields of endeavor (business, media, music, ministry, etc.). I was honored to get the invitation, but when I checked the list of invitees... my name wasn't on it. And I immediately felt my insecurity get triggered. It felt like an emotional ice pick stabbed my heart as I read the names of people I admired, only to realize I wasn't listed with them.

But, instead of descending into self-loathing, this verse began to resonate in my spirit as I heard the Lord say, "Nona, you may not be on the list but you were on the host's heart." I reviewed the list again and noticed a number of other influential people missing, so I asked the host if I could invite them, and they said, "sure!" I reached out to the missing people and invited them, so they could enjoy the gathering too, and as it turned out, I ended up being unable to attend due to a conflict!

God used that situation to heal my heart and to help me experience the freedom of living beyond the reach of toxic comparison. Instead of focusing on being left off a list, getting people added to the list by noticing who else was missing empowered me because I treated others the way I wanted to be treated. And killing comparison requires treating people the way you would like to be treated.

Included. Valued. Worthy.