Parenting & the Single Mom: By Jennifer MaggioSýnishorn

Set the thermostat in your home.

How many times have we screamed at our children, only to find them screaming back? Or maybe you overhear your toddler saying a four-letter word and realize they are simply imitating what you said in traffic earlier today? How often do we find our teenagers listening to music that is wildly inappropriate and remember that it was on the radio in the car the other day? It is up to us as parents to set the example in our homes and ensure we set the thermostat in our homes every day. I don’t mean the literal thermostat in your home; I mean your home's spiritual and emotional environment. We cannot react out of anger and rage and expect the temperature of our home to be one of patience and respect. Mom, it is up to you what the environment in your home will look like. It’s time our homes start reflecting the true nature of God.

Step 3 to parenting as a single mom: Control your emotions!

Don’t be quick to anger. Be gentle in your response to your children (even when you are raging on the inside). We can be firm, direct, and gentle at the same time. Don’t scream. If you scream at your children, don’t expect them not to scream at you. If you use profanity with your children, don’t be surprised when it comes back at you. If you view questionable content on your television or listen to music that is not honoring the Lord, don’t be surprised when your children duplicate that behavior. You set the tone, including what media comes into the home, what responses you allow, the tone in which you speak to one another, the fruits of the Spirit that flow throughout the home, and so much more.

I was recently holding a conversation with my adult son, and he said, “Mom, you always set a great temperature in the room.” I had not considered that before. He began to explain how I laughed and brought joy (at least sometimes, I do!) into rooms I enter. As parents, we get to set the thermostat of our homes. We can lead by example and teach our children how to handle and express emotions in a way that honors the Lord. We are able to exhibit the nature of God, taking care to control our tempers and emotions. This becomes an invaluable tool in keeping our peace and investing a life skill into our children.

Points to Ponder:

• How do I set the thermostat in my home? Do I frequently yell, or do I take a softer approach? Do we read the Word together? Do we pray together? Do we have family meetings about hard things, not just surface-level conversations?