Joseph: A Story of Reconciliation and Emotional HealingSýnishorn

The story of Joseph’s brother Judah and a woman named Tamar shows us once again that this family whom God has chosen—is broken and messy, not unlike our own families or life circumstances. Even so, God is at work, guiding his people along a road to restoration.

After Judah betrays Joseph, he marries and has three sons: Er, Onan, and Sheleh.

Time passes, and Judah arranges for a woman named Tamar to marry his eldest son Er. But God kills Er because of his wickedness, leaving him without an heir to inherit his portion of Judah’s land and possessions. So, Judah tells Onan to marry Tamar in order to produce an heir for his deceased brother.

To understand Judah’s instructions, it’s important to know how the law of levirate marriage works during this time. If a man—who has not yet received his allotment of his father’s inheritance—dies without an heir, it is the responsibility of his brother to marry his widow and produce an heir in place of the deceased.

Onan has an opportunity to restore the dignity and inheritance of his dead brother. But he intentionally avoids this obligation, because he sees another opportunity for himself: if an heir isn’t produced for Er, Onan only has to share his father’s inheritance with one brother instead of two. This would increase his allotment of the inheritance. Because of this greedy act, the Lord kills Onan too.

While Judah has lost two of his three sons, he promises Tamar that she can marry his last son Sheleh once he’s old enough, in keeping with the law of Levirate marriage. Tamar returns to live with her father in the meantime. But when the time comes and goes for Sheleh to be married, Tamar realizes Judah has no intention of keeping his promise.

One day she recognizes an opportunity and forms a plan to produce an heir within her deceased husband’s family line, the only way she knows how.

Tamar pretends to be a prostitute when Judah comes into town. He sleeps with her and gives her his identification seal and cord, along with his walking stick—maybe our modern-day version of a passport and car keys—as collateral. When he tries to pay her, she is nowhere to be found.

After three months, someone tells Judah that Tamar is pregnant as a result of prostitution. Judah is furious. He demands her public execution. But Tamar sends Judah a message just in time, along with the collateral he had given her.

When Judah realizes that she is pregnant because of him, he stops the execution and says something remarkable: “She is more righteous than I, because I didn’t arrange for her to marry my son Sheleh.”

Only two times in the book of Genesis is someone considered to be “righteous.” The first time, it’s Abraham (Genesis 15:5-6).

The second time, it’s Tamar, when she risks her own life to restore the lineage that two dead—and evil!—men have lost. Her methods are unconventional. But God still blesses them, and gives her twins, the exact number of heirs needed to take the place of Judah’s first two sons.

Tamar’s actions change Judah.

Once a man whose life choices were littered with betrayal, lies, cheating, hypocrisy, and self-interest, Judah is now a man who’s willing to admit his wrong and Tamar’s righteousness. From the time he calls righteous what God calls righteous, we see a change in him.

The story of Judah serves as a parallel narrative to what’s happening with Joseph in Egypt over the course of many years. The way Judah changes in this story will become vitally important later.

From Judah and Tamar, we understand that when we are presented with an opportunity to restore what is lost or broken, it’s not optional: it’s a responsibility. And it remains a responsibility even when there’s personal risk involved, and even when the person for whom we are to do good doesn’t seem to deserve it.

Judah honors Tamar for being righteous, even when it means recognizing that he isn’t. The first step on the path of righteousness is to recognize what’s right and good, even if we don’t see it in ourselves yet. Then we must admire and even reach for what is good and right—even if it seems as far from us as the stars. Remember, it’s the reaching that counts!

REFLECT

Where do you sense the Lord inviting you to be part of his work of restoration in the lives of the people around you? What will it cost you? Wherever you find yourself on this journey, ask the Lord for his help to be honest like Judah and act righteously like Tamar.