What if It’s Wonderful?Sýnishorn

Matching Joy with Joy

Sometimes loving others asks us to celebrate what they love, even if it feels unfamiliar to us. Celebrating others should never require us to compromise our values. But celebration will ask us to step beyond our own proclivities and preferences to join our loved ones in their passions and to share in the excitement over what matters most to them.

One of the gifts of relationships is that they allow us to experience joy we may not encounter on our own. Left with an empty afternoon, you will not find me running about my house with a Nerf gun in hand. I, as Nicole, don’t prefer Nerf guns. But I, as the mom to James, love them. I find such a thrill in being doubled over in laughter with my boy. I appreciate the way it forces my responsibilities to scoot over and make some room for fun—fun that I might consider unnecessary, if it weren’t for James’ presence reminding me otherwise.

Relationships will cost you time, energy, creativity, and money that you might spend differently, if it were just you. You might feel awkward and uncomfortable as you learn to love the things that matter to someone else. But celebrating others sacrificially is never wasted effort. In Romans 12:10 Paul pressed his audience beyond asking them to simply have affection for one another by instructing them to celebrate their fellow Christ-followers by putting the other’s desires first.

Celebrating others by honoring them might mean using your platform to connect them with an opportunity, or by being willing to learn something new in order to share something in common. Or it might mean learning to accept your spouse's expressions of love even if they aren’t the way you prefer. What if your irritation became your invitation to go first, to be the pursuer of the connection you long to have? What if that facial expression on your teenager became your cue to ask your child to educate you about something that matters to him—even if it is a hobby that’s of no interest to you, or that action movie you can barely tolerate?

We actively love one another by letting our routines be interrupted by someone else’s reality. Rejoicing with those who rejoice (see Romans 12:15) often looks like participating in the activity or interest that causes our loved ones to rejoice and celebrating others’ joy, even if it’s a joy you wish was your own. This is not a passive form of love but an active one. It means pushing past our own preferences and stepping off the sidelines of other people’s joy and joining them—regardless of how closely your joy matches their joy.

The discipline of participating in others’ celebration will significantly shape us. Every time I find a foam dart in my shoe, I think about the privilege of participating in James’ joy—thankful for the avenue of connection paved by celebration. I feel grateful for the many ways God will teach me something new and important through the gift of being his mom. I am aware that I will be sharpened through the challenge of motherhood. But I also praise God for the invitation to grow through learning to celebrate what others love—even if celebration looks like refining my battle strategy for a Nerf war.

Respond

What does celebrating another person’s joy require of you?

How can you celebrate someone in your life by honoring him or her with your time and attention?

How can participating in another’s celebration shape you and bring joy into your life?