Even Silence Is PraiseSýnishorn

Meditate on the Word

“I will meditate on your precepts, and fix my eyes on your ways.” (Ps. 119:15 NRSV)

Turning to just one verse works as a diving board for meditation, a jumping-off point. Partly because many of the things Jesus said only make sense to me in the context of meditation, when I let them seep into my heart and mind.

Take a familiar passage, “Those who find their lives will lose them, and those who lose their lives because of me will find them,” or, to use another translation, “Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it” (Matthew 10:39 CEB, NIV). We end up stressing that “for my sake” to make it all right. We’re just supposed to be less self-involved, less selfish, more interested in others for Jesus’ sake, and then we’re safe.

I don’t think that gets us off the hook. Look at the way Luke’s gospel prefaces it with, “If any man would come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me” (9:23 ASV).

How do we deny ourselves? Our survival seems predicated on doing just the opposite. If we don’t advocate for ourselves, we’ll never get that job, that promotion, that raise. If we don’t look out for number one, everybody is sure to walk all over us. More mundanely, if we don’t make that shopping list and head off to the supermarket, there won’t be anything in the refrigerator for dinner. We’ll starve. Sure, we look out for our families and loved ones. But that’s not denying ourselves at all; that’s taking care of the network that takes care of us.

What would happen, though, if you used that verse as a motto for contemplative prayer? You close your eyes—whether you’re propped up in bed or sitting on a rumbling subway—and intentionally lose yourself. You lose all the stuff you tend to cling to. The shopping lists, the to- do lists, the emails, the text messages that make themselves known. The bank balance and the worry over whether there’s enough to cover the bill you need to pay or have already paid. Again and again, you let that stuff go. You don’t do it just once. You do it ten times, then a hundred, then a thousand, and then so many that you’ve lost track because it’s become routine.

One day I was on the subway reading the Bible when I came upon one of those dastardly passages that seem designed to make me wallow in guilt: “In the same way, none of you who are unwilling to give up all of your possessions can be my disciple” (Luke 14:33 CEB).

I closed my eyes and went into a snit fit. I wish I could say it was prayerful. How am I supposed to give up all my possessions? I asked. That wouldn’t be responsible. I wouldn’t be able to pay for this subway ride. I wouldn’t be able to fund my kids’ college educations. I wouldn’t have a place to live. I wouldn’t have any money to retire on. I wouldn’t be able to give anything to church—let alone have something for that person on the subway asking for money—if I gave up all my possessions. What am I supposed to do, Jesus?

This is the work of contemplative prayer. If it sounds hard, that’s a good thing. That’s the pleasure, the challenge. Jesus commanded his followers, “Go in through the narrow gate. The gate that leads to destruction is broad and the road wide, so many people enter through it. But the gate that leads to life is narrow and the road difficult, so few people find it” (Matthew 7:13–20 CEB).

Narrow, difficult. There is a paradox here. We are welcoming, affirming when we express our faith. We want everyone to know that God loves them, that God shows no partiality. But there is also this more challenging aspect of faith: “Go in through the narrow gate.” It’s not just about taking the ethical high road, living a pure, blameless life while resisting the temptations of self-righteousness that can be found along that way. Fine and good. Then put yourself on the difficult up-and-down, back-and-forth road of meditation. Look at all those roadblocks that make for rough traveling. Get rid of them. Cut them out; rip them up.

Respond

What is your favorite verse in the Bible? How has it impacted your life?

Using that verse, write a “thank You” letter to the Father.

Prayer

Lord Jesus, speak to me through Your Word.