Premarital: Preparing for a God-Honoring MarriageSýnishorn

What’s Love Got to Do With It?

Congratulations, you’re reading this because you found the one your soul loves, and you’re considering marriage! You’re in great company, and whether you’re engaged or dating, we’re so glad you’ve chosen this reading plan for this exciting journey!

Sadly, many marriages fail because couples don’t prepare BEFORE marriage. Couples today are not taking the necessary time to consider wise counsel before making a life-long commitment. For instance, have you asked yourself, “Why do I want to get married in the first place? What is a covenant? What is true love? Is this God’s will, and is this the person He has for me?” Before you can answer these questions, you must first understand the purpose of marriage and why the Lord created it.

Marriage matters to God—after all, He designed it! The Bible’s first book, Genesis, starts with a marriage (Adam and Eve’s), and its last book, Revelation, ends in a wedding feast.

The true meaning of a godly marriage can’t be grasped with the natural mind. Our prayer is that you’ll come to realize that biblical marriage is more than just happiness and romance, as it’s the ultimate of all human relationships because it’s built on friendship, companionship, passion, and sacrifice. More importantly, we pray you’ll learn that marriage is a loving reflection of what Christ did for His bride on the cross.

The world has warped and ruined God’s plan for a lifelong marriage because today marriages are temporary and breakable. If we’re honest, most of us have a “Hollywood” mentality believing that feeling loved and having a physical attraction are enough to keep us married for life. The heart is deceitful above all things (Jeremiah 17:9) and beauty fades (Proverbs 31:30)—neither of these things can keep a man and a woman committed as one in a lifelong marriage. Feeling happy or getting along is not love. We must then reformulate what we think and know about true love. Let us go to the blueprint—our Bibles—for these answers.

1 John 4:8 (NKJV) says, “God is love.” And Ephesians 5:2 (NKJV) says, “Walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice.” So, if God is love, and if God sacrificed for us, then what do you think true love is? This simple equation means that love—true love—is personified in none other than Jesus Christ because He loved us and sacrificed His life for us!

Love is a verb, an action that has to be willingly acted upon. In John 15:12 (NKJV), Jesus told His disciples, “This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” He didn’t command them to fall in love, but rather, to intentionally choose to love one another. Jesus chose to leave heaven to redeem us and be one with us, so we could spend eternity with Him. Real love, then, is the gospel, the new covenant of Jesus!

So, what’s love got to do with it? Well, when we say we’re in love, we need to remember there’s no greater love than for a man to give his life for his friends (John 15:13), which was acted out by our Savior Jesus. This, my brethren, is agape love.

This selfless love is the secret glue that will hold your marriage together until death separates you. Are you ready to love—agape love—like Jesus? Are you ready to forgive like Jesus? Are you ready to have a funeral before you have a wedding (to die to yourself for your soulmate)?

Pause: Read all of Ephesians 5. Discuss what the Holy Spirit is teaching you in this chapter.

Practice: Create a marriage motivation list. This list should contain at least three reasons you want to get married. Next, set a date with your bride/groom-to-be for about one hour to share and discuss what each of you wrote. Listen attentively, and take turns to speak. When you’re done, exchange lists.

Ask each other:

1. Why do you want to get married or what motivates you to want a marriage? 2. What does marriage look like for you?

Pray: Heavenly Father, thank You, that we may come to You through your Son, Jesus. Please give us wisdom and discernment as we consider marriage. Please reveal to us any areas of concern in our relationship. We want to be all You created us to be, and whether we marry or not, our desire is to get closer to You. Father, we ask that You guard our hearts and that You reveal to us Your perfect plan for our lives. Finally, show us how to agape love each other. Amen.