How to Thrive as a Pastor's WifeSýnishorn

Day One: Dear Pastor's Wife

I didn’t have a clue what I was doing as a pastor’s wife. My husband had accepted his first church staff position and together, we embraced our great adventure. I was relieved and excited to learn that another of the church’s staff members and his family lived down the street from where we had moved. He and his wife had years of ministry experience under their belts, so I was eager to learn from her. Certain she was aware of my need, I waited for her to come down the street and check on me. I waited and waited, and one day, to my great delight, she showed up at the door to say hello.

I then waited for her to broach deeper topics, but she never did. And while many pressing questions about ministry were burning in my mind and heart, I did not ask one. What had held me back? I believed I was alone, the only pastor’s wife who didn’t know what she was doing, and I couldn’t admit my insecurities.

I tell you this, dear pastor’s wife, so that you may know that I also am one who is digging deeply into the challenges we all face at some point in our ministry. Those insecurities and uncertainties you have? You’re not the only one. Yet, my years of experience and context are not ultimately what I rely on as I offer you these pages. “For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake.” (2 Corinthians 4:5).

I promise this as we share our week together through words and a common heart, my demeanor toward you is one in which I’m leaning forward, listening. I’m willing to hear and address the things you’re afraid to say and ask because you think you should be further along by now.

I’ll be brutally honest about what’s gone on in my heart, hoping you’ll see yourself in me and, if needed, be pricked and poked by the Holy Spirit.

And then, I’ll remind you of the ancient truths: God is with you, He loves you, He is helping you, and He is worth pursuing and serving. There are challenges, yes, but there is also abundant joy and reward to be had living beside—and being—a minister of the gospel.

My prayer for you:

Father God, I pray for this dear one reading these words. May she know we walk together as your beloved daughters whose privilege of service is our calling and Your honor. We need your mercy. Amen.