Your Guide to DiscipleshipSýnishorn

You Need “Barnabas” Friends

Should my friends play a role in my spiritual growth? How do I build up godly relationships?

Christianity is a team sport. Don’t be so proud that you can’t ask for help when you are hurting. When Moses’ faith wavered, Aaron and Hur held up his arms (Exod. 17:10–12). When David felt scared, Jonathan encouraged him (1 Sam. 23:15–16). Even the apostle Paul needed friends. He said Aristarchus, Mark, and Justus “proved to be an encouragement to me” (Col. 4:10–11). Don’t suffer alone. You were created for community, not isolation. Embrace the people God has sent to help you grow.

I have learned to draw strength from my closest peers. I’m not afraid to text one of them to ask for prayer. They always text back and ask questions or call to chat. They know I will do the same for them when they are in need. But how do you find the kind of quality friend who will lay down his life for you? I have learned to watch and see who God is connecting me with.

If you want to make friends effectively, you must be willing to be a friend first. Proverbs 18:24 says, “A man who has friends must show himself friendly” (MEV). Don’t wait for a friend to reach out to you. Take the first step and be willing to break the stalemate.

After David killed Goliath and moved to Saul’s palace, the Bible says “the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David” (1 Sam. 18:1). This is the work of the Holy Spirit. All Christians should experience a sense of family connection, but there are certain friends you will feel deeply connected to because God is putting you in each other’s lives for a reason. No one is immune to human weakness. Let God knit you to people. You will be a much better person when you allow close friends to get past your tough exterior so they can help you.