Prodigal Parent ProcessSýnishorn

Other Problems

Jesus shares the story of the prodigal in Luke 15. What is interesting to me is that the older brother who knew what the prodigal’s problems or addictions were. The prodigal left home and did what? He spent is future on wild living, prostitutes, and drinking. His older brother knew. 

“…but when this sin of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes.”

Luke 15:30

The brother knew his younger sibling had a sexual problem, probably most likely a sexual addiction. As a parent you often want to know your prodigal’s secret life; however, this secret life, especially if it’s sexual, can have it’s own impact. James 1:15 (KJV) says, “Then when lust has conceived, it bringeth forth sin, and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.”

The sexual secrets alone can move a prodigal down this road. This is important to understand as a parent. I have worked with thousands of prodigals who had sexual secrets that no one knew about, including their parents, that were huge factors in their pain and drove them further away from God and home. 

As a psychologist, I have seen that when prodigals share their true stories, including their sexual journey or addictions, the secrets prodigals carry can be unimaginable to their parents. The shame they feel from these secrets can keep them from God and you. Sometimes prodigals blame God for bad things that have happened to them. They misunderstand the free will of someone who abused them or harmed them in some way, whether that be psychologically, sexually, emotionally, or physically. 

The father in the prodigal story of course didn’t mention knowledge of the secret life of the prodigal, even before he left home. This secret double life is what probably fueled the younger brother’s entitlement and desire to leave home in the first place. 

Again, it’s not the parenting that is fueling the prodigal’s choices. Sometimes it’s a secret that fuels their journey into sin.