Dear Anxiety, Let’s Break Up: Conquer Worry & FearSýnishorn

Unchanging Love

My twelve-year-old daughter, Brooklyn Grace, is the perfect combination of me (intelligent, organized, ambitious) and my husband (creative, athletic, outdoorsy). She is forever covered in paint drippings from her bedroom art studio, and she bakes far more scrumptious treats for our family than I do.

My daughter, with her sweet, sweet soul, feels all of her feelings to the max, and those feelings are on display for everyone to see. It’s part of what I love about her. You never have to question what she’s feeling because it’s written all over her face. When she’s sad, tears stream down her cheeks, and sobs wrack her shoulders. When she’s cheerful or amused, she lets out the most beautiful belly laugh I’ve ever heard, not to mention her smile alone is worth a million bucks. And when she’s mad, she displays her anger pretty clearly too.

When Brooklyn feels intense or uncomfortable emotions, she sometimes struggles to understand that her feelings are not permanent. She thinks she’ll always feel this way or that way, but this isn’t true. I purposely remind her of that by saying, “It won’t always be like this.” The intensity of her emotions may be the reason that, somewhere along the way, Brooklyn got the impression that some emotions are good, and some emotions are bad. Or in other words, some emotions are more acceptable and pleasing to God and to those around us than other emotions.

Part of what I’m trying to teach her (and part of what I’m trying to learn myself) is that emotions are a normal part of our human existence. God created us this way on purpose, and no emotion is inherently good or bad. There are uncomfortable emotions, certainly, but emotions are not in and of themselves wrong, bad, or sinful. And if we label emotions as bad, we only intensify our feelings of guilt when we inevitably experience those “bad” emotions.

It’s okay to be overwhelmed, angry, or despondent. We are humans with human emotions, and we are all doing the best we can. It’s okay to have big feelings, and it’s good to bring those feelings to God. He can handle our feelings of anger, sadness, and anxiety. He does not judge us or sort us into categories of good or bad based on our emotions. However turbulent our emotions may be, they do not cause him to love us any less; his love for us is unchanging.

What if God designed our emotional response system to direct us toward him? Joy can urge us closer to him. Grief can draw us closer to him. Fear can certainly drive us toward him, and sadness can encourage us to seek him out continually. He’s beckoning and pleading with us to recognize our emotions for what they should be: a methodology for communication and a conduit for drawing near to him. The truth about who he is, his greatness, and how richly he loves us remains unchanged by our shifting emotions about him, the world, and our lives.

Sometimes we feel an emotion so strongly that we believe it will always feel this way, but the emotion will pass.

Reflect

Does the intensity of my emotions lead me to believe these feelings are permanent? What have I been taught about “good” emotions versus “bad” emotions? Where did I learn this? How can I unlearn what I have been taught about good emotions and bad emotions?

Prayer Time

Dear God, thank you for creating me with emotions, even though they run amok at times. Every second of every hour of every day, I need you. Help me understand that my emotions are part of the thoughtful, intentional, and intricate mind-body-spirit system that you created in me. Amen.