Growing in LoveSýnishorn

A Growing Love Is Others-Oriented

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. Philippians‬ ‭2:3-4‬ NIV (emphasis added) ‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

A growing love is others-oriented. I can’t really love you if I’m continually focused on my agenda, my approval, my appetite, or my next achievement. So to really love one another, we’ll need to stay alert to the enemy’s schemes that keep us self-focused. 

I believe distraction is a primary weapon of our spiritual enemy. What does our enemy want to distract us from? The answer is anything that matters to God. For example:   

• Sharing the gospel (God’s rescue mission)  
• Intimate communion with God   
• Loving one another 

In fact, if the enemy can distract us from these essentials long enough, he knows division, isolation, and destruction will result. 

First, let’s define distraction. Ultimately, it’s anything that draws our attention or mind to something else. Here’s a common example of what distraction can look like: You have some time to kill while waiting for an appointment, and instead of asking God for a prompting of someone you could call or pray for, you let your free time go to waste because your attention is drawn to the latest news, phone notification, social media post, or some other form of isolated entertainment. 

I’ve been there, done that! It’s a habit so easy to slip into because it’s all available at our fingertips.

But I don’t want to live distracted. I don’t want to fall into the status quo. I don’t want to neglect seeing the person in front of me. I want to love like Jesus! 

Let’s wake up to the fact that we really need each other. In fact, studies prove that healthy relational communities are good for our physical, emotional, and psychological well-being. 

Decide today to create more intentional connection and consistent interactions. Decide to be a source of daily encouragement for everyone you encounter. Decide to live a life that exemplifies God’s love and stays focused on our Kingdom mission. 

My husband, Craig, is my inspiration when it comes to living an others-oriented life. I made a list here of how I regularly see him live. I hope it inspires you, too:  

• He consistently calls to check on someone who’s hurting.  
• He’s faithful in prayer for people.   
• He takes time to patiently instruct or listen.   
• He does whatever needs to be done—no matter the personal cost.   
• He prioritizes our family and me.   
• He confesses and apologizes when he’s wrong.  
• He plans ways to be generous.   
• He always expresses appreciation and gratitude.  
• He puts himself last.   
• He always encourages someone with specific detail.   
• He remembers and acknowledges a significant day of someone’s loss.   
• He asks engaging questions instead of talking about himself.   
• He always shares food off his plate! 

Craig’s life displays the ripe, sweet fruit of the Holy Spirit. These seemingly small but faithful acts of sacrificial love are consistent because he continually chooses to embrace the life of the Spirit within him. Every day, we have the opportunity to do the same, so take some time to consider any ways in which you could be more others-oriented. 

Pray: Father, open up our hearts and eyes to how we can live a God-centered, others-oriented life. Especially help us keep our attention on those closest to us. May we genuinely love and value people by our actions and words. In Jesus’ name, amen.