Bringing Calm into the Chaos of Your HomeSýnishorn

Let Go of Constant Evaluation and Criticism

Nothing stirs up anxiety and tension in homes quite like constant correcting. Yet as parents, this is one of the easiest traps to fall into. We want our kids to grow up to be kind, responsible, and moral people. However, the temptation is to constantly evaluate and correct. 

I love the way Eugene Peterson interpreted Proverbs 27:15–16: “A nagging spouse is like the drip, drip, drip of a leaky faucet; You can’t turn it off and you can’t get away from it” (The Message). The same concept holds true for a nagging parent. Children have nowhere to hide from constant criticism and nagging. The truth is, it leaves them discouraged and anxious. Don’t make the mistake of constantly evaluating. If you want a calm home, listen to encourage rather than to evaluate. 

When we take the time to notice what our kids are doing right, and we affirm those actions, our child walks away encouraged. Our homes become calmer and more peaceful. Here’s the thing: God is not disappointed in how your child turned out. Your child is God’s one-of-a-kind masterpiece, created on purpose and for a purpose (Ephesians 2:10). I know you see all the ways your child could improve, and you will at times have to correct. However, affirm more than you criticize. You need to know that God is thrilled with your child! In fact, when He created your child, He likely stood back and said, “Ta-da!” 

Pause and Reflect: Keep track for a day how many times you correct your child. Then consider: are you making them tense with all your evaluation? 

Action Step: Be intentional to listen to affirm more than to correct.

Pray: Oh Lord God, I recognize that so often I get caught on the treadmill of constant evaluation. In those moments I see everything that needs to be corrected in my child. I nag like a dripping faucet. Open my eyes today, Holy Spirit, to the wonder of who you created my child to be. Fill me with renewed love as I celebrate his unique design. When I need to correct, help me to think through the best way to connect with my child’s heart. I ask you for wisdom today.

Ephesians 2:10 (NIV): "For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”