Practical Words for Encouraging Your SonSýnishorn

Day Six

“You are a tender warrior.” 

Scripture: Exodus 15:2; Deuteronomy 31:6; Matthew 5:5

All four of our sons—even with the contrasts between their personalities—enjoy watching warriors giving it all they’ve got on the movie screen, whether it’s ninjas, Avengers, or Stormtroopers. And we certainly understand the draw. 

As parents of growing young men, we recognize that each of them has a warrior deep down inside and we embrace their desire to fight hard for all that’s right and good. But we want to help our sons value their compassionate side as well. 

We’ve watched our boys’ eyes fill with tears when they’ve witnessed an injustice, and we’ve encouraged them to understand that their emotions are appropriate. A young man can be both tenderhearted and a fighter—there’s no need to pick one or the other. 

This world is geared toward the flashier presentation, the more aggressive approach. But it’s often the quiet, steady one who’s the real achiever in life.

Perhaps you have a son who’s always at the front of the pack, and nothing’s wrong with that! But if you have a gentler son with a less forward personality, take time to help him see what the world can’t necessarily see when he is young—his underlying power, depth, and substance. 

Having a quieter personality isn’t a liability. It’s an asset, because God made him that way for His unique purposes. Your son will find his inner strength and personal confidence first from how he believes you appraise him. 

Celebrate your son’s softer side as a good quality and a great asset in life. Jesus said, “Blessed are the meek [not weak but meek—one who is gentle], for they shall inherit the earth” (Matthew 5:5). And let’s not forget, Moses was the meekest of all men, but he became the great leader of millions of people through the most trying of circumstances. No, having a gentle spirit isn’t about weakness; it’s power under control. And God can do great things with that! 

Talk to your son about both “sides” of his heart—the side that’s ready to do battle and the tender side that brings tears to his eyes. Tell him how much you admire your tender warrior. 

God of strength and tenderness, nurture both these qualities in [name] today. May he delight not in the world’s preconceptions but in who You created him to be. Amen.