I Am No VictimSýnishorn

New Mom, New Fear

A few minutes before boarding my first flight with my first child, fear and anxiety paralyzed me. I was not concerned about my flight. I was overwhelmed with worries about my little one's future in a world where the color of one’s skin can lead to unfavorable or tragic events. 

While I am often oblivious to acts of racism committed against me, at that moment, I found myself wondering what it feels like to be rejected for a natural physiological state - having melanin in the skin. The feelings of rejection, fear, and pain were intense. I did not want my child to experience those negative emotions. Living with those emotions would have been unhealthy for me. Even worse, those emotions would have shaped my parenting, and I would have transmitted the social trauma of racism to my child— social and intergenerational trauma impact how we live and raise our children. Instead of parenting with love and hope for my child’s future, I would have adopted a fear-based parenting style. 

After accepting that shielding my child from racism was not within my human capacity, but within God’s capacity, my anxiety and fears were dispelled. I told myself, and I still remind myself that “God loves my child more than I do” and “I cannot change the human heart, but God can change the human heart and protect my child.” These truths brought me peace and hope for my child’s future. 

Also, I decided to practice thinking about what can go well for my child instead of entertaining thoughts of what could go wrong. Philippians 4:8 (MSG) says,

“Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.”

Profound! For me, the best thing that can happen to my children is Isaiah 54:13: "All my children will be taught by the Lord, and great will be their peace."

Have you found a scripture that speaks to the best thing that can happen to your child or children? It is time to find one or two scriptures to help you dispel thoughts about the worst things that can happen to your child or children. 

John 8:31-32 (KJV) says, “Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

God’s Word is the truth. What God says concerning our children is the truth. Knowing the truth does not mean knowing about the truth. It means believing God’s Word wholeheartedly. When we believe God’s Word wholeheartedly, we come to a place of harmony with God’s peace and perfect will for all that concerns us.

Reflection: What concerns do I have about my child’s future in society? What does the Bible say about my Child?

Action: Find one or two scriptures to help you dispel thoughts about the worst things that can happen to your child or children.

Were you blessed by this message? If yes, consider sharing it with a wonderful mother or parent you know. Together, we can bring healing to families.