When I Hold You: A 7-Day Devotional for MomsSýnishorn

DAY 5: Faithful Love

Contributor: Kathleen Allen, mom of two boys

My father passed away shortly after my twenty-first birthday. It was a perfect storm of illnesses, and his body couldn’t fight them all at once. The underlying cause was a genetic disorder he had called Muscular Dystrophy. There is a 50 percent chance I can pass this on to my daughters to be carriers like me or to my sons who will have the disorder like my father did. 

Because of this condition, my husband and I had many discussions and prayed much about whether we should have biological children. We felt God telling us not to deny a soul an eternity, even if it meant we might have to say goodbye early. I never asked my father about having children before he passed, but I am sure he would say, “Give those babies a chance.” After all, he and my mother did, even without all the answers as science unfolded on the disorder.

I found out I was pregnant with my first child and immediately knew it was a boy. The only non-invasive way to test for Muscular Dystrophy is through a blood draw after the baby is born. I had to decide how to spend those next nine months. I knew the only thing I could do was to pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17). So, I solicited prayers to move this mountain, I chose to surrender the things I couldn’t control, and I committed to worshiping God throughout the process. A month into my son’s little life, I received the call with the genetic test results: NEGATIVE. Praise God! 

One of the sweetest surprises of motherhood was when my older son sang for the first time. When I heard his sweet little voice carry a melody, my heart gushed—maybe even more than it did after the first giggle or the first utterance of “Ma-ma.” As I write this, I am awaiting test results for my second newborn son. It feels like a step back in time to three years ago. Every face, every gesture, every sweet little sound is an opportunity to cherish a new moment and moments passed. 

I know that this time, we may not get the same result as before, yet still, I pray I will trust in God’s provision for my son. He authors his life and will write a beautiful, sweet story, no matter the length. More importantly, I know God authors his eternity, so my lips will glorify Him.