Enduring PainSýnishorn

“They left me.”

”They never call me.”

“They weren’t there for me.”

These are the phrases I hear in my own head and from friends over and over again when I provide counsel. It amazes me how many of us feel like we have been abandoned or like the world is out to get us. When we are struggling with painful situations in our lives, it is easy to focus on what has been done to us instead of the role we may have played in the situation.

The questions I love to ask are, “Did you pursue them? Did you treat them the way that you wanted to be treated?” A lot of times, we can sit here feeling lonely, feeling unwanted, feeling hurt, but here’s the truth, the phone works both ways.  

In my early twenties, I often felt unwanted. My husband began to challenge me to be the friend I wished others would be. I had never really pursued anyone in my life. I had always let the game come to me. I remember crying at the fear and pain and real possibility of being rejected. But honestly, the pain was worth it!

I remember when I first realized that Jesus pursues us. He pursued me for years as I rejected him. The thought that I could be that same friend to others was a game-changer. At the end of the day, I would rather endure godly pain pursuing people for Christ and possibly being rejected than be in constant pain of feeling like a victim and knowing I am not living out the call of loving others the way Christ loves me. 

Challenge: Is there someone God has placed in your life who is hard to love (and if we’re honest, maybe even hard to like)? Prayerfully ask God to help you love and pursue them the way He has pursued you. Reach out to them and love them the way you wished they would reach out and love YOU.