Complement: A 5-Day Devo for WomenSýnishorn

DAY 1 - God’s Design for Marriage: To Be a Complement 

I’ll admit that I came into marriage thinking that Aaron would complete me and that my life would finally begin once we were married. I assumed my heart would never be hurt again. I thought he would fill the hole in my heart that yearned so badly to be unconditionally loved. I put a lot of pressure on him to never hurt me and never have arguments with me. I wanted a love that would always make me feel good and never make me uncomfortable.

Let’s just say I brought a multi-piece set of baggage to our wedding day—baggage I wanted to keep a secret from him because I was certain he wouldn’t want this kind of baggage in our house. And I’m guessing, so did you. Or, if you haven’t married yet, you’re well on your way to doing it. No matter where you’re located today in your life journey, you too have ideas about what you expect from the marriage. You don’t need to be married to think these thoughts.

Though the world tells you a lot about marriage, and the church tells you a lot about marriage, we believe God’s Word is where we should all be getting our real perspectives on marriage. The Bible holds immense value for those of us yearning to love our husbands well in marriages that bless them, beautify us, and bring maximum glory to God.

I don’t care who you are, something will come along to make your marriage difficult. Maybe this happened for you as early as your honeymoon (I’m serious), or maybe by Year Three. For us, it wasn’t really until around Year Nine when circumstances conspired to make life hard at our house. In those moments, I knew there had to be more to marriage than just fun times and a constant companion. I needed a partner who was willing to walk through the fire with me. I needed a partner who was willing to keep the wind in my sails. I needed a partner who was willing to both lead and follow in different circumstances.

To complement me. Even as I complement him.

After being married for more than two decades now, I’ve learned marriage is so very beautiful. God created something for His children that magnifies Him in all sorts of ways. I’ve learned that great marriages don’t happen overnight but are created through years of hard work and sacrifice on both spouses’ parts.

I’ve also learned something else. Remember that desire of mine about Aaron completing me? 

How he would fill all the holes in my heart? That idea was never going to work out, I discovered. But I’ve grown to see that the way we complement each other does some wonderful things in both of our hearts. It’s a beautiful picture of how God designed marriage to be.

Discuss with your spouse: 

• What’s the difference between complementing and completing your spouse? 
• How do you view your marriage?