Level Up! : Influencing Faith Driven FriendshipsSýnishorn

Encouragement + Correction

My junior year of college, I took a campus job and worked along side a girl who was a very faithful Christian. At this time in my life, I was living in compromise and though I knew scripture, my life was filled with hypocrisy. But I saw something different in this girl. She carried a confidence that I couldn’t understand.  She was genuine and kind and full of so much grace for me. She'd often tell me that she was praying for me, which irritated me, while at the same time, it also inspired me. She was always smiling and trying to hug me and tell me she loved me, which brought so much conviction to my life, but in my sinful pride, I mistook conviction for offense and I often tried to avoid her when possible. 

A lot of pain brought me to Jesus and as I began to understand His love for me, it became obvious that Anne's kindness was actually the love of Jesus reaching out to me.  I began spending more time with her and the Holy Spirit used her to shine God's light in my life. She was a friend who led by example and set godly standards and expectations for me and I will always be grateful! Even when I felt offended by her encouragement for me to stop partying or times where she would question the intentions of college boys who would try to come around me, I began to recognize that it was direct truth spoken over me with divine love. 

When I look back over our friendship, I see that she loved the Gospel enough to risk offending me. She saw God's love for me and wanted Salvation for my life more than she wanted a casual friendship with me. She was looking into my eternity and this compelled her to be a friend who intentionally shared the hope of Salvation with me. She could have entertained my ungodly choices or responded with general advice to "follow my heart" or "to live out my truth" or "do what I felt was best for myself", but that was never her approach. Her approach was always Jesus and scripture and accountability. Her love for Christ equipped her with courage to be a good friend to me by speaking the truth in love.  

“Trina, that’s foolish,” she would bluntly say to me sometimes. “Is what you’re doing worth Christ’s blood?” she would ask. That question will never leave me. 

Peter and Paul, two mission-driven friends of the Gospel, share a moment of accountability and correction as told in Galatians chapter 2. Peter was practicing hypocrisy in his dealings with Jewish and Gentile Christians, and Paul called him out for it! Talk about embarrassing, but love compels us to point others to Jesus, even if it requires correction. Yes, we all want encouragement, but encouragement without correction will not produce maturity. We must get to the place in our friendships where we can receive the truth, in love, and give the truth in love by celebrating correction as well as encouragement because the combination of the two produces spiritual growth.

In our friendships, we cannot be afraid to offend with truth and love. It's a scary thought to tell someone they are wrong or that God's best requires obedience, but a good friend tells the truth. A true friend loves beyond the moment and into eternity. If we desire to be friends who influence for God's Kingdom, we have to be willing to hold our friends in accountability to please God, rather than please themselves. We also must condition our hearts to care more about pleasing God rather than people-pleasing. The truth will sometimes offend - especially the truth of Jesus Christ (1 Corinthians 1:18), but if we are devoted to run on mission and make disciples, we have to be willing to lovingly encourage and correct those we call friends because this is what points to the Gospel. It might not always result in instant gratitude, but it will definitely leave impressions and plant seeds into eternity.

In what ways are you influencing your friends in truth and in love; in encouragement and in correction? The pursuit of Jesus requires honesty and accountability. I'm cheering you on to be a good friend, not just a good-time friend!