Tested and Approved: 21 Lessons for Life and MinistrySýnishorn

Day 5: Be Nice to People Who Are Different

When people’s lives please the Lord, even their enemies are at peace with them (Proverbs 16:7 NLT).

How do you treat others? Do you treat everyone with the same amount of respect? If someone is rude or unkind to you, then do you respond to them in the same way? Or are you gentle and kind toward the people to whom you can relate but severe and impatient with those who are different?

It amazes me that others are always observing my responses to people and situations. Since you know this kind of exposure is very possible and real, it should not be the only reason you are nice to others, but it should also be a stark reminder to guard your words, actions, and interactions. This is wise advice the apostle Paul gave to the believers in Ephesus: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29 ESV).

First, remember kindness always wins the day. As believers, we don’t respond to bad behavior with an equal measure of our own vibrato and ill treatment. The Bible tells us to give gentle responses, because they turn away wrath (Proverbs 15:1). Yes, people can be difficult and different, and sometimes they can even be “weird.” At other times, they will be downright rude. That is not a justification to treat people poorly or even reject them. 

Jesus sent some of His disciples to Samaria as advance men to make preparations for His visit there, but the people rudely rejected the disciples and Jesus for the simple reason that He was on His way to Jerusalem. When James and John boldly asked Jesus if He wanted them to call fire down from heaven to consume those Samaritans, Jesus would have none of it!

Second, retaliation is never the right response. Jesus’s followers don’t have an excuse to retaliate because of someone’s rudeness. Jesus told us to treat people like we want to be treated (Matthew 7:12). I know this is especially hard when people are mean, but it is what we are called to do.

The Jewish religious leaders constantly found offense with Jesus because He kept company and ate with sinners, including tax collectors and prostitutes. They expected Him to shun sinners in the same way they did to prevent becoming defiled by their sin. When the leaders confronted Jesus about His habits, He told them that it was not the healthy who needed a doctor but those who were sick. Then He went on to say that He came not to call the righteous but sinners (Mark 2:17). Jesus refused to stay away from people who were different or out of the social mainstream. 

Third, we must become steadfast in our convictions. As mature believers, and especially leaders in the body of Christ, we must be strong enough in our character and convictions to be around people who don’t hold our same values. We must not be influenced to change because of any pressure they might put on us. God expects you to become the influence rather than the one who is influenced! 

You must become adept at practicing the following three responses as you encounter people who are different from you:

1.  Recognize when you are resisting someone because they are different.

2.  Push through your fear and discomfort with their difference.

3.  Act with grace in response to the differences of others and seek to understand them.

Consider: Am I rejecting someone around me because they are different from me?

Heavenly Father, let Your kindness and grace be reflected in my life. Help me accept and bless those who are different from me. In Jesus’s name, Amen.