Wives Who Win: How to Win in Your Marriage God's WaySýnishorn

Winning in Marriage through Clarity

Have you ever assumed to know something only to find out that your assumption was dead wrong? 

When you assume without confirming, you tend to believe lies about people you care about. It would be much easier to simply ask clarifying questions of that person, but too often, that does not happen. Partly that is because of what we talked about in day 3, pride. Relationships and marriages have experienced unnecessary and preventable drama because of assumptions.  

Marriages, like life, go through transitions and you must be able to recognize when the transition begins, what type of transition it is, and what to do during and after the transition, and not make assumptions. 

There are too many transition periods to name but know that they happen regularly and there is not always a warning of when or why it occurs. Some couples do not realize what is happening in their marriage until they are in the thick of it. One of the ways your marriage can persevere through, and survive, the inevitable transition period is by gaining clarity of what is happening, why is it happening, and what your role is in demonstrating peace and unity in the marriage.

To assume would be wrong, because assumptions lead to believing lies about your spouse that in your heart you know are not true. When you refuse to get clarity, you believe untruths and false assumptions about your spouse which contributes to further discord.

When you assume the worst about your spouse, you deny the truth, and when you deny the truth, you dismiss God as He does not live outside of truth which is his word. Any attempt to live outside of the truth can lead to you take on the role of judging one another, further creating endless confusion and conflict in your marriage.

The next time you are tempted to assume, confirm what you believe by simply asking, “Can I check out an assumption I have about you or about what you just said or did?", then proceed in gaining clarity and hopefully keeping the peace.

Reflection: Do you see how gaining clarity about the verbal or non-verbal message your spouse is trying to convey rather than assuming can help you draw closer to one another and eliminate confusion and conflict in your marriage?