Solid…building the Marriage of Your Dreams by Godman AkinlabiSýnishorn

Getting Out of Red - Maintaining a Fat Emotional Account

Your emotions were given to you to master, not the other way around. When it comes to marriage, the way you manage your emotions can either make or break it. Are there times that your spouse has to tiptoe around your bad mood? Do you take out your frustrations at work on your family? Are you non-expressive when it comes to love but extremely expressive when it comes to anger? If you answered yes to these questions, then your emotional account is in the red.

Understand that currencies spent in relationships are primarily emotional. That’s why if you have been nasty to your spouse, you know better than to ask for a favor five minutes later; and if you were sweet to him or her, your request is less likely to be refused. In other words, you can cash an emotional cheque when you have emotional credit with your spouse. On the other hand, if you don’t feed your spouse with positive emotional energy, your emotional cheques will bounce! If all the emotions you spend in a relationship are negative, that account could close for good - by that I mean that your spouse will entertain thoughts on leaving and could one day act on it.

Your spouse deserves somebody who is open and loving. Do your best to conquer or manage that weakness. Sometimes it takes just a little communication. “Honey, I had a lousy day at work, I just need an hour to shake it off.” Within that hour, pray, listen to music, dance, shout, and do whatever is required to shake off that negative cloud. Your spouse will appreciate it and love you even more for it. Learn to manage your emotions for the good of your marriage. Let your positive attributes shine and minimize the effects of the negative. Most importantly, ensure that the primary emotion your spouse feels from you is love.

Action Point: Top it up. Do several things today that express your love for your spouse. I advise that you don’t cash your emotional cheque just yet. Let your deposits stay and yield interest.