Practicing Compassion When the Critic Won't QuitSýnishorn

 God WITH Us (Especially in the Hard)  

My family adores a good story—whether a book, a play, or a movie. Yet I’ve noticed the most interesting stories include parts that can feel a bit scary or suspenseful. I particularly observe this when my daughter is watching something that could become overwhelming for her. My husband and I try to be mindful of age-appropriate content—but even kids’ movies can be suspenseful. Tia is almost eight, but at times when the hero looks as though she might get hurt or stuck, my daughter will look up at me and ask, “Mom, can you hold me? This is scary.” 

Whether it’s during a tense movie or after a tough day at school, she becomes braver when I’m with her in whatever feels hard. It’s as if Tia finds the part of herself that is courageous whenever she feels my hand on her back and hears my voice reminding her that I’m right there. This is the paradoxical power of compassion. Rather than making us weak, it helps us become resilient and move through difficult experiences. When I, as her mom, lend Tia compassion as she is feeling afraid, she is able to move through her fear and keep going. My gentleness toward her doesn’t make her weak—it allows her to be strong. 

This experience of being truly with us is the way God communicates His love and compassion to us too. We are neurobiologically wired for connection, and this is why it makes so much sense that Jesus would come to be with us in all the muck, beauty, and rawness of our humanity. God could have chosen any way at all to demonstrate His love for us, but notably, He chose to join us. And not only that, we are promised that God’s presence is right here in our midst even still—whether we see it or not. 

Why does this matter? There is much significance, but just as I am wired to support my daughter in the hard, scary parts of her life, God longs to do that for each of us too. Frankly, this blows my mind. Because more than a spiritual idea of connection, this is a strikingly physical one, and that’s why I love the way Jesus modeled His unity with us by coming to earth. 

As a licensed therapist I find that many of my clients are their own worst critics. But what if God’s kindness is exactly as good as we hoped? And what if, within its bounds, we can find all the tools we need to be kind to ourselves too? May we remember that in those times when life is hard, we have access to our God who is the kindest, strongest, most compassionate parent we could have. May this deep experience of feeling loved seep into every area of our woundedness.