20 Days Of Relational HealthSýnishorn

God often uses our struggles to bring about His greatest and deepest work—in me and those I love.

Sometimes this truth is hard to remember, especially when those I care about experience pain. My desire to “fix” problems, especially those pertaining to those I love, can do more harm than good. I inevitably get in God’s way and miss out on amazing teaching opportunities. 

God is more concerned with what goes on within an individual than any decision they might make or solution they might work out. 

He reminded me of this the week before Easter. My daughter and her fiancé were dealing with some tough stuff. Initially, I focused on the situation, trying to determine the best course of action. 

But I sensed God saying, “This is a good thing. A learning opportunity for them.”

So, setting aside my “fix-it” tool belt, I planned a picnic for my daughter, her future fiancé, and my husband. Together, we simply talked. We addressed tough issues, shared thoughts and feelings, and honestly solved nothing.

But we built bridges of trust and demonstrated healthy dialogue. Knowing how to persevere through relational tension and hold hard conversations with love and truth will impact her future marriage more than nearly any decision she and her boyfriend make. 

It’s easy to believe the current problem is the problem. But God’s vision goes so much deeper. Scripture says He uses all things for our good (Rom. 8:38)—to mold us into the likeness of His Son (Rom. 8:39).

God’s goal is never behavior modification. He initiates transformation.

This is what it means to create redemptive relationships. 

My role isn’t to convince or connive or save but to point others to Jesus, to demonstrate what it looks like to lean on Him, and to trust Him to indeed work all things in my loved ones’ lives for their good. 

~ Jennifer Slattery