Confident Moms, Confident Daughters By Maria FurloughSýnishorn

Day One: Confident

Scripture: 2 Corinthians 3:4–5, Romans 7:21–25

Shortly after I graduated from college, I saw something so extraordinarily beautiful in my friend and her mom that I also wanted it. Simply stated, they both exuded confidence. They seemed unaffected—miraculously so—by the world’s expectation of beauty and the entire web of heartache and self-obsession that accompanies. I saw the joy and freedom that confidence produced in them, and it was contagious. If one-day I had a daughter, I wanted her to be joyful, free, and confident. 

The question was, how could I get there? I honestly never really tried to become confident, because I didn’t believe it was possible. At that time in my life, I wrote myself off as someone who was always going to be insecure and went on my merry, messy way. 

But insecurity is destructive. It doesn’t stay with numbers on the scale or clothes that are too small. It seeps into friendships, careers, marriages, and definitely parenting. The years moved forward, I fell in love, got married, and the damage of an impoverished self-image kept with me. Our family grew, but the unspoken yet familiar formula was not promising: an insecure mother + crossed fingers = a daughter who will somehow magically avoid the insecurity maelstrom.

I decided to do the one thing I felt I could do: teach myself to be confident so that I could turn around and teach her. After all, how could I possibly expect her to love her body, her face, her hair, her life, her uniqueness, her gifts, her everything if I didn’t learn to love mine first?

The first step was dropping to my knees and asking God to help me see myself as He sees me, because a surrendered will combined with a praying heart invites the Holy Spirit to work within us. Over the years, through the power of God’s Word and His provision, I have retrained my mind to see myself and my body through new eyes and have jumped off the insecurity train. This is miraculous news! It means that if there is hope for me, there is hope for my girl. And if there is hope for my girl, there is hope for you and yours.

God wants you to be free and have God-shaped confidence. Do you believe this is possible? Why or why not? Are you willing to try?