Mastering The Art Of ForgivenessSýnishorn

When You’re the One Hurting 

Before you talk to the person who has hurt you, talk to God; then arrange to talk to the person one-on-one. God expects you to make the first move, even when you are the one who has been offended. Taking control of the situation reduces the damage, and keeps you from becoming bitter.

Sometimes, the only way to get over your hurt feelings is to seek reconciliation. If you are willing to do this, God will help you. In Matthew, Jesus lays out a strategy for restoring relationship, beginning with a personal talk, and slowly bringing in more witnesses as necessary. This gives us a blueprint to work from as we seek to restore our relationships.

Even if the other person is wrong, let God use you as a “paramedic” of His mercy. Tell them you want to see the relationship healed. You don’t get to choose who you’ll forgive. Love is a command; forgiveness is an act of obedience. “He has given us this command: whoever loves God must also love his brother” (1 John 4:21). 

When we’re suffering, God seems distant and inaccessible. But He’s not. The Holy Spirit who forever abides in you is closer to you than the air you breathe. He’s equipped, willing, and able to comfort you. He will sometimes do it by reminding you of a Scripture verse, a hymn, a sermon you heard, and so on. When He does, believe what He says. Say to yourself repeatedly, “The God of all comfort lives permanently in me!”