Restoring RelationshipsSýnishorn

How to Make a Marriage Last  

When my wife and I were married, we were so in love. We expected the fairy tale, but instead, it seemed like the beginning of a nuclear war. We were both convinced God had us fall in love to punish us for sins future and past. She did not live up to my expectations. I did not meet hers. I responded by constantly criticizing her, and she responded by nagging and withholding affection.

The vicious cycle soon spun out of control until we realized a vital truth: we were in the same boat, and if we wanted to survive, we both needed to bail out water. It finally dawned on me that if she lost, I lost. She began to realize my loss was her loss. We decided to change our mindsets. Instead of always trying to win, both of us began to make sure the other person was always the winner.

This little change caused our marriage to take on a strength that has endured 25 years. It was no longer about what I wanted from her but what I wanted for her, and vice versa. This unlocked the practical power of 1 Corinthians 13:5. We discovered that love is simply looking for the win-win formula in every situation.

What about you? In your marriage, how do you respond when your spouse does not meet your expectations? Love is not about getting something but about giving something, as Christ gave Himself for us. Can you recall a situation in your marriage or relationship in which you compromised and you both won?