Wisdom For MothersSýnishorn

 Attentive to Children

Children need attention. They spell love, T-I-M-E. We can be so busy, even busy doing good things that we miss out on God’s best, which is spending time with our children. They need time to laugh and time to cry, time to run and jump, and time to be still and nap. Children need time to pray, go to the library, make show angels, ski and play dolls, dress up, make believe, play in the dirt, climb trees and play hide and seek.  

Parents have the tremendous privilege to invest time in their children, to have dates, hunt and shop together. You can take trips, run on the beach, chase sand crabs, swim and watch the sun go down. You can eat a peanut butter sandwich and pretzels at their school; attend their sporting events and proudly watch their school play or awards ceremony.

If we miss our children experiencing life, we neglect them. If we neglect our children, there is a high probability they will reject us and/or our faith. Indeed, their perception of dad and mom is their perception of God. If we are distant, uninvolved and disengaged, so they will see their Heavenly Father. Therefore, invest time, money and love in your child.

Children require, and in some cases demand, a lot of attention. Your role is to be there for them, to be available. Your quality time with your child flows from your quantity time with them. You cannot stage or script quality time. It just happens, and you have to be around them to enjoy its benefit. When children are comfortable, they open up; sometimes unexpectedly they begin to share their heart. These spontaneous snippets of time become precious teachable moments. Remember, quality time requires quantity time. 

For example, after attending their sporting event, affirm and encourage them. They already know about their mistakes, they just need to know everything is okay, and they will do better next time. The most important part is showing up. You are the first person they look for in the crowd. When you are there, it shows you care. You cannot make up for these childhood days, but there will be other deals, work projects, ministry roles and business opportunities. Be careful to not let work or ministry compete with your family. 

When at all possible integrate two competing responsibilities. It may mean a family mission trip or serving together in the church nursery. If work requires travel take a child with you and make it a special trip with just the two of you. Let your child watch you “do life,” let them see you trusting God with a difficult situation, or watch you give Him credit for a great success. Then as they mature into adults, your child feels accepted rather than neglected, they respect mom and dad, and they embrace faith in Jesus. 

How does my child like to spend time with me? Does my calendar and checkbook reflect dedicated time with my child?