Tongue Pierced With Nelson SearcySýnishorn

“Relationships”

Your thought life also manifests itself in the quality of your relationships with others. That’s because of how you think and feel about yourself dictates how you interact with people. For example, if you see yourself as shy or socially awkward, that belief will lead you to avoid social situations and you lose out on the relationships you may find through them. If you avoid connecting with other people because you’re afraid you won’t be liked or that you’ll get hurt, you are crippling your life based on fear—fear that’s counter to who you were created to be and perpetuated by the words you allow to run around in your head. Do you ever find yourself thinking things like the following?

I always say the wrong thing when I talk to her… I don’t get along well with other people… Relationships are hard for me… I’m so uncomfortable in social settings…

Phrases like these put you on the path to relational dissatisfaction. They become self-fulfilling prophecies. You may very well say the wrong thing when you talk to people, but if you do, it’s because you expect to; you are living by the mental script that mandates it. If you have told yourself that you’re not good at relating to other people or maintaining long-term relationships, your subconscious is working to fulfill those thought patterns. If it hears you say, “Oh, I always feel so awkward in large groups of people,” then guess what? You’ll dread the next social gathering you’re invited to and then not enjoy it once you’re there.

On the other hand, if you shift what you say when you talk to yourself and instead think things like, “I love being with and talking with the people in my life. I’m thankful that I am able to connect with others and express myself clearly” or “I’m open to relationships. I’m comfortable being myself and accepting others for who they are,” then the way you engage with other people will change. Your subconscious will follow the new instructions and turn them into reality just as easily as it followed the old. With some time and repetition, it really is that simple.

* Are you sabotaging relationships with your own self-talk? Do you have negative self-talk for friend group relationships? Relationships with family? Relationship with your spouse? How can you begin to rectify this negative self-talk?