I Choose HonorSýnishorn

DAY THREE: How to Honor Those Who Have Hurt You

God calls us to honor everyone, but honoring an abusive or absent parent is a difficult prospect. Doing this begins with another difficult task—choosing to forgive the person. It’s important to remember that forgiveness is not excusing or denying what the person did, nor does it require us to associate with the individual. As R. T. Kendall wrote in Total Forgiveness, forgiveness is giving up the natural desire to see the person who wronged you “get what’s coming to them.”

The person may have to face the consequences of his actions, but you no longer desire to see him hurt. You acknowledge that the person has wounded you and “owes” you in a sense, but by forgiving, you are choosing to release him from that debt.

When we forgive we also honor God, because that is what He did for us when He forgave our sins. Forgiving a parent or family member who hurt you is one of the most honorable things you can do because you are choosing love over vengeance. When you trust God to bring justice in His timing and His way, you not only honor the person who hurt you, but you also open yourself to receive healing and experience freedom.