Reducing Transitional Stress In MarriageSýnishorn

Other techniques for strengthening your marriage through the inevitability of transition include intentionally lightening the mood or atmosphere, whether through fun music, humor, witty banter or simply letting each other’s more tired emotions roll off your back. Don’t take every response personal. Give the other person the benefit of the doubt. Show grace. 

Understand that they are experiencing change and their non-verbal or even their tone may simply reflect their momentary stress, and not be directed or caused by you. In short, just as you would recognize a weight-lifter’s inability to carry on an in-depth conversation with you due to the current needs of the workout, be aware that transitional stress depletes emotional and physical energy as well. 

Adjust your expectations and demands of each other to that reality.

Another technique includes verbalizing or even internalizing the positives. Rather than focusing on the loss, change or adjustments – look for ways to emphasize your highest values - whether they be each other, family, the things that have gone well or the hope of the future. 

Continuing to speak about negative emotions or events will only reinforce them. What you speak transforms what you think. More so, what you say to each other – and how you say it – will affect how the transitional stress either grows or damages your relationship. Remember the wisdom of God's Word: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger,” (Proverbs 15:1).