The Mingling Of Souls - Matt Chandler On IntimacySýnishorn

“Sex is about the Gospel”

Maybe you’ve read through Song of Solomon 4 and thought, “You know, this sounds like a really beautiful thing, but I’m a messed-up person and this is a broken world, and it all seems pretty unrealistic.”

All of us have been wounded and hurt in some way. We’re all insecure, fearful, and broken. Maybe you are a husband thinking, “I’ve already blown it. I haven’t led my wife like Solomon, so that ship has already sailed.” Maybe you’re a wife thinking, “I don’t want to be unresponsive to my husband, but I don’t know how to make myself enjoy this.”

Human beings are so complex. When you factor in sin, trauma, insecurity, and anxiety, our brokenness becomes part of that complexity. We can begin to feel indecipherable, unfixable.

When I was growing up, one thing I couldn’t figure out was what was going on at church. Everybody seemed so happy, and I couldn’t figure out why.

Or if you just don’t understand this whole Christianity thing, you may get really confused about why people become emotional when it comes to the thought of God. What’s going on inside of them that thinking about some God up in heaven would make them weep?

So I want to clue you in because it’s something that I learned over time by God’s grace working in my life through the Christian message. What people are celebrating is that while we were at our worst, Jesus still loved us.

Intimacy is hard for broken people. We need Jesus. We need his help. But when you’ve gotten closer and closer to the incredible reality that God chose you, forgave you, and approved of you despite your sin, all because of Jesus Christ, that grace is satisfying and empowering, and it can be carried over into your marriage. It can be carried over in the way you respond to your spouse, confident and free because of Christ’s work in your life. It can be carried over in the way you forgive your spouse’s sins and overlook his or her imperfections, as a way of sharing what God has given you.

* Have you ever meditated on just how big it is that while you were at your worst, Jesus still loved you? How does this affect your relationship and sexual relationship with your spouse?