Mary Was a MomSýnishorn

There are times when our children say things that really hurt our hearts. We understand the immaturity in our young children that lash out with “I hate you” or “I wish you weren’t my mom.” Still, it stings. The older our children get, some of the things they say can cut deeply. In that moment, it’s difficult to separate the young, immature heart from the hurtful words that jab into our own, reinforcing our tender insecurities. We are hurt and offended and often strike back with additional hurtful words, stooping to our child’s immaturity level.

I wonder if Mary has these hurt feelings at the end of Matthew 12? Jesus has been with a crowd all day, ministering, healing, and always giving of Himself to others. Someone approaches Jesus to tell Him His brothers and mother are there to see Him. It’s hard to fathom, but rather than indicating His immediate family, Jesus points to His disciples and says, “These are my mother and my brothers!”

Now I don’t know about you, but I think if I were Mary and overheard this conversation, my heart would have fallen. I might have thought, “Hey, now! I’m your mom! I brought you into this world in a barn! Don’t forget all I’ve done for you!” My self-importance and pride would have erupted, at very least in my mind.

We’re not given an account of what happened next, except that Jesus continued giving to and serving others. Was Mary offended, feeling the sting of rejection at this point? She could have given up and just gone back home. But she didn't. She stayed with Jesus. 

She chose to be unoffended.

I believe His words didn't land hard on her heart because she had always held Jesus with open hands. She knew He didn’t belong to her, that He had a life to live independent of her wishes and desires for Him. In that understanding, I also believe she learned to hold her other children with open hands. 

Our children are a gift, not to hold, but to offer back to the God who created them. He knows what is best for them, and what is best for us. He asks us to love them, to guide them to Jesus, to give rise to them, and then to let them soar! Guilting them, harboring offenses, manipulating, and holding tight will hurt them and us. 

It’s difficult to see them as His and not our own, but it’s the best way. It’s His way.

Oh Father, may I see the beauty in releasing and giving my children back to You, every moment of every day! Though the days often seem long, I know the years are short and I thank You for even the toughest moments. May I never take credit for my children’s weaknesses or for their strengths, knowing that they belong to You and are a gift to me for only a short time. 

Are you holding too tightly? Or are your hands open to His will and way for your children?