How God's Love Changes Us: Part 2 - Overcoming Pride & Insecurity Sýnishorn

This is what the kingdom of God looks like: mercy and humility rather than revenge and arrogance. So how do we stop an insecure, defensive way of being? We must gain  self-awareness and continue to enter vulnerability. When we feel ourselves beginning to defend, we must stop and ask, What am I defending right now? What am I scared of? I have learned that a key to giving up my defenses is to first have gratitude for the way they have saved me and served me. I must bless my story.

“Thank you, sharp wit and defensive posture. You kept me safe from harm and injustice. I am now an adult and no longer need you to protect me, as I can now protect myself.”

When we have gratitude toward our insecurities and defense mechanisms, we can find the strength to release them. This creates a humble posture wherein our entitlement cannot breathe for long. Perhaps the elder brother’s core problem was his refusal to be vulnerable. It’s possible that he was petrified that he was not as loved as his younger brother. He was unable to access love toward his brother and yearn for reconciliation the way his father did.

What if, instead of judging his brother and resenting his father, the elder brother had recognized vulnerable feelings of anger, sadness, fear, and betrayal; mustered the courage to acknowledge his insecurities and how his various forms of defensiveness served to protect him; and then made a conscious choice to let them go, stepping into forgiveness with his brother and father? How might this have changed his relationships and brought reconciliation, instead of separation? He could have joined the party and entered into the glory of the resurrection. 

Consider taking some time right now and locate where you connect with the elder brother’s perspective in regard to your own feelings of entitlement and  self-righteousness. What insecurities are beneath these feelings? Are you aware of how your own insecurities affect your relationships?