We Have A Choice // Let God Show Us The Way Sýnishorn

The Rescue From Self-Contempt

You ask for a new picture—a new way to look at yourself. You consider how I see you, and you wonder if it is true. You wonder if it still stands. 

“It was a long time ago,” you say. “Does that picture still apply now?” 

“You have forgiven me, but I have trouble believing it,” you say. You tell Me that, “At the core, I can’t believe that I will ever be good enough. You have your Son, you have created all these amazing, beautiful, talented people in this world, people who do amazing things. You must be so proud of them! You must love them so much! Surely, you can’t love me as much as you love them!” 

You tell Me, “Surely, when You tell me you love me, You don’t mean You love me as much as everyone else. I can’t possibly be included in that picture. I can’t possibly be loved so much that You are also pleased with me. I think that is the trouble. I struggle to believe You are pleased with me. I struggle to believe your pleasure and your love for me are not the same thing. Can You help me? I am trapped, here. Help me out of this place?”

And this is what I say . . .Daughter, son, this world will surely break your heart. You have to have your heart not be tied to this world, even while you live in this world and fight the battles in this world and look to me in this world. This is not everything.

How I love you now is more than you can understand. Is it okay with you that you cannot understand it? Is it okay with you that you can’t perceive the depths, the far reaches of my love? 

I am more than an idea, a story in Scripture. I am more than a repairer of what is broken. How can you believe my grace is enough, that my love is enough, if you reject that what I have made is enough?

You question what I have made. You question my intentions with you. You question my plan to craft you the way that I did. Your vulnerability, your struggle to believe my love for you are things I am using too. I am using them as strengths. 

You think that you need to love yourself in order to be loved by Me—and if you struggle to love yourself, to find anything that is worthy of love within you, you can’t believe that I could love you too. Son, daughter, your ability to love me starts with loving yourself. And my love for you makes this love for yourself possible. So, shall we start there? 

It is okay that you feel stuck, going in circles. Let me stay close to you now. Let me guide you deeper. Let me give you a new way to think, and to see, and to believe. This is the only way to freedom, to life, to having joy and hope while living in a world that will surely work to kill each of these things. But they will never be extinguished. There will never not be hope. There will never not be freedom. There will never not be joy. For my love rescues you from your very self. Allow me to rescue you from yourself. Or else you will remain trapped there, and trapped is not life. It is not what I intended.

Exercise:

Do you have anything in your life that’s hard to get rid of, that you got from your family? Is there something that you find yourself doing, or a belief you hold—something that’s negative, something that’s dysfunctional—something that hurts other people, hurts relationships, or hurts you—that was present in your family growing up? Something your father did or believed about himself. Something your mother did or believed about other people or the world. Something your grandfather did or believed about God?

We inherit things from our parents—physical attributes, natural talents, ways of relating to other people and the world. And we can also inherit their sin. We can inherit tendencies toward particular kinds of sin. And these tendencies toward certain actions or certain beliefs or certain dysfunctions can be stubborn. As Jesus leads us into more wholeness and holiness, these things often prove to be among the toughest to overcome. Why? Because we assume they’re just the way we are. We make agreements that we’ll never change—because this is how it’s always been. Or we keep them secret—because they are shameful. We’ve tried to cover up the fact that our father or mother or someone else in our family gave into a particular dysfunction—and we now keep it a secret that we do too. 

But here’s a sobering reality. Not only do we hurt ourselves or other people when we continue to participate in generational sin, but we pass it on to our children . . . and their children.

But here’s the good news. We actually have a choice: we can pass it to future generations, or we can take it to the cross and end it, here and now.

Because here’s what you’ve got to remember: when you decided to follow Jesus, you were adopted into a new family. The Apostle Paul explains in Galatians chapter four that God sent Jesus to this world so that “we would receive our freedom and a full legal adoption as his children. And so that we would know for sure that we are his true children, God released the Spirit of Sonship into our hearts—moving us to cry out intimately, ‘My Father! You’re our true Father!’” And now, Paul wrote, “being God’s very own sons and daughters” . . . “we can access everything our Father has—for we are heirs of God through Jesus, the Messiah!”

It is God Almighty’s blood in our veins now. And now, we inherit who He is, what He is like. We’re now becoming more like our true Father. And He is fully able to put behind us these old, stubborn things we inherited from our earthly families.

So, I ask you. Are you tired? Are you just sick of this stubborn thing in your life? This thing that you’ve felt powerless to overcome on your own? Are you willing to draw a line across the generations and stand up, here and now, and take this thing to the cross—so that this thing will no longer plague your life, your family’s life, your children’s lives, their children’s lives? Are they worth it?

Jesus makes all things new. So, will you let Him give you a new inheritance?

Paul says in Hebrews chapter twelve, “we must let go of . . . the sin we so easily fall into.”

Are you ready to?

Let’s start the process, right now.

Imagine yourself standing with Jesus. Imagine that you and He have been walking a dusty road, but now you stop and turn to one another. He is here for you. Just you. You have His full attention. There’s nothing more important in the world to Him than being with you now. 

And now, I want you to name this thing . . . with boldness and clarity. Tell Jesus what this thing is for you. Anger. Bitterness. Self-contempt. Selfishness. Fear. Pride. Arrogance. Narcissism. Unforgiveness. Addiction. Depravity. Unfaithfulness. Something else?

Whatever it is, imagine writing what it is on a piece of paper as you stand beside that road, as you stand with Jesus.

What did you write? Look at the paper in your hand. What’s written on it?

And, now, with that same boldness, recognize where this thing came from—who it came from.

Now, I want you to look into Jesus’ kind eyes and confess your participation. Jesus, I did this thing. I believed this thing. I acted in this way. I participated in this generational dysfunction. I hurt people, or I hurt myself. I did it . . . and I ask for you forgiveness.

Now, what is His response?

Now, I want you to confess on behalf of your family, and ask for forgiveness for them too. Stand in the gap for them. Jesus, they did this thing too. They believed these things. And so forgive them. Forgive my family. Jesus, forgive my father. Forgive my mother.

Again, look for His response.

Now, I want to you to imagine Jesus putting His hand on your shoulder, and asking you: “do you want to be rid of it?” “Do you want to kill this thing?” “Do you want to let my cross destroy it?”

What is your response?

If you do want to be rid of it, imagine Jesus as He invites you to walk with Him up a hill, up to where you now notice stands the cross. Feel the dirt and rocks crunch under your feet as you climb and approach it.

Notice now that Jesus turns and offers you a nail. He places it gently in your hand.

And He offers you a hammer. Feel its weight as you grip the handle.

Now, if you’re ready, raise your paper and the nail. Place them against the cross. And raise the hammer. Now drive the nail through the paper and deep into the wood.

What happens to the paper?

What does Jesus do now?

This is good. Well done. It is done. This is the beginning of a new season.

And I want you to consider something about this new season. For the next few moments, as the music continues to play, I want you to consider what you’re prepared to do now, from here on. Are you willing to invite another person in—to keep you accountable? Are you willing to be vulnerable with a trusted friend, or a spouse, and let community act as a guard rail against your participation in this generational sin, going forward?

To what are you willing to commit? What are you willing to do for yourself, for your children, and their children?

When you decide, whatever you decide, go ahead and tell Jesus what it is.