Being Real In Our MarriagesSýnishorn

It’s not what I want but what God wants  me to be

Marriages may be made in heaven but they have to be lived on earth. The reality of a marriage is finding a solution to the everyday annoyance that we are to our spouses and they to us. The focus in a Christian marriage is not the husband or wife but Christ. Taking the relationship of Christ out of the equation makes it a set of rules. Marriage can also be described as a battle of desires and egos between two individuals trying to find common ground. There is enough material to describe what an ideal family should look like. This has given us an excuse to judge our spouses according to the standards applicable to them while justifying our actions. 

In all this chaos, there will be days when we are faced with situations where we need to compromise our beliefs. Sometimes the purpose for which God created us  seems lost. In our desire to be accountable to God, and practically living in this world, we may lose out on what God wants us to do. As a daughter, wife, and mother I have come across times in my life where I had to willingly choose to be in the uncomfortable and sometimes confusing place of hurting my family to pursue what God wanted me to do. It’s’ not easy—over time we learn to see God’s bigger picture. 

As Christians we have the yard stick of Christ to measure our worth, not our spouses’. We need to realize that however bad we believe our spouse is, they are an integral part of God’s plan in our life and precious to God. The God of the Bible hates divorce. 

Instead of looking to see how we can change our spouses, we need to channelize our energy in responding to them the way Christ wants us to. When we start working with Christ on the planks in our lives, God will heal our marriages and help us live with the speck in our spouse's life. We should learn to accept our spouse with their imperfections. Our purpose in life is not for us to be a good spouse but to be the spouse God wants us to be.

Are we ready to seek God for His plans concerning our marriages and walk accordingly?