The Shadow Of My Porch Swing - The Presence Of God - Part 3Sýnishorn

PRAYER PROBLEMS

I was trying to pray this morning and kept getting all tripped up. My words and thoughts were a jumbled mess and I felt like I just couldn’t get my act together. Sure, I can talk the hind leg off a horse but praying always seems like such work. 

This afternoon, I’m still sorting through these emotions while I pick up one of my sons from school. As we head to his appointment, I take note that he is being extremely careful with his words. Often starting one word but then changing the word mid speech. Knowing exactly why he is fumbling, I turn around after parking and look him in the eyes. ‘It’s obvious you are avoiding words with R’s. Please know I’m so proud of your effort this past year. Don’t be ashamed that it still takes work.’ He relaxes some and gives me a smile. You see, this crazy gifted, good-at-everything child carries around some kryptonite in the form of a speech impediment. But it doesn’t make me not want to listen to him. Sure, sometimes he doesn’t sound quite like the others and I have to find undivided time each day for his practice, but I never say ‘I wish he just wouldn’t talk to me.’ I actually cherish the extra one-on-one face time I get with him.

Tonight, I think God is telling me the same thing as well. It doesn’t matter that I don’t get all the words right or that I sound different than those around me. It doesn’t even matter if I tip toe around the hard things in an effort to make it easier on myself. He has already set aside undivided time to listen to me and is proud of how I’ve grown. He can’t wait for me to tell him about my day, even when it takes a little while for it to all make sense. I just have to show up and start talking. 

Do you struggle with believing that God is waiting to talk to you? How has the need to ‘pray-it-right’ stopped you from communicating with your Father?

Jesus, my words are a jumbled mess most of the time. Either tumbling out in excitement, broken up by emotion or clammed up by confusion.  What a relief to know that even your disciples needed help with prayer. When I feel inadequate, help me trust our relationship and talk to you anyway. You delight in hearing my voice.