Stop the Fighting - Part 1: Breaking the Cycles of Unhealthy ConflictSýnishorn

No Record of Wrong

Devotional Content:

Forgiveness can get complicated in marriage relationships. We think if we forgive our spouse for what they did, they might feel they got off easy and not learn their lesson and do the same thing again. We think if we forgive our spouse for what they did, it doesn’t let them know how much they hurt us. We complicate forgiveness by having our own agenda instead of God’s agenda. We think, “if God really knew what my spouse did, He would understand. God doesn’t expect me to forgive that does He?” When we withhold forgiveness from our spouse, it can give us a false sense of power. We have something they want. We have control of when we say, “I forgive you.” All of this might make sense in a movie or a television drama, but in a Christian marriage, no.

The truth is that God is God and we are not. God tells us to forgive. It’s not a “when you are ready,” or “when they have suffered enough” forgiveness. It’s forgive because I forgave you. It’s a Calvary hill forgiveness. Somehow in the midst of our hurt, we forget about that. We forget that Jesus gave His life so we could be forgiven. Our role is to forgive. What happens next is up to our spouse and to God.

I know this for certain: When a person withholds forgiveness from their spouse, it never affects the spouse as much as it does the unforgiving person. God did not create us to be judges. That is His role and He is ever just and fair. In your marriage, be quick to forgive and resolve issues. It’s what God tells us to do.

Today’s Challenge:

Dr. Kim says that forgiveness keeps no record of wrong. Apply that to your marriage relationship.

Going Deeper:

Are there areas of unforgiveness in your marriage? If so, what are those areas? What steps will you take to forgive those areas?

90 Days To Save Your Marriage

If you are still struggling with conflict in your marriage then you might need some tangible help to overcome this. Dr. Kim’s 90 Days To Save Your Marriage plan might be the encouragement you need to turn your marriage around.

This 90-day plan is designed to start right where your marriage is today and get it on the road to healing.

This plan is for marriages that are struggling. If you feel defeated about your marriage, are considering divorce, or just feel like you can’t figure out how to turn things around in your marriage on your own - this plan is for you! Learn more here.