Crazy Good Sex For Married CouplesSýnishorn

Fulfilling Each Other’s Needs

Very often a husband and wife can be married for many years without ever telling each other what they find most exciting in bed. 

Why? Because talking about our sexual needs can be embarrassing. But it's also because so much is at stake — namely, the emotional bond between husbands and wives. 

But 1 Corinthians 7 says that a husband and wife should fulfill each other’s needs. How can that happen without clear, honest conversation?

Song of Solomon gives a great picture of a man expressing his desires in a loving and honoring way. In fact, it's basically a very lengthy dialogue. The first portion is spoken by the young woman who longs to be near her man and enjoy his kisses. From there it gets down right steamy, and this husband and wife talk frankly about how they want to love each other.  

If you're feeling like many married couples — that talking about your sex life makes you feel uncomfortable — take a few days to read through Song of Solomon together. It can serve as an incredible onramp to generating your own love talks. And as you do, here are a few suggestions:

• First of all, you need to bring up the subject when you are not having sex, and it needs to be a two-way conversation. That is, you need to not only be telling your spouse about some of your desires, but you need to be genuinely interested in theirs. 
• Next, don't be shy about telling what you like, what you don't like (but be gentle here – you want to make things better, not cause hurt feelings), and what you would like to try. 
• Ask questions about what your spouse likes, doesn't like, and what he or she would like to try. Be open to hearing what your partner has to say. Encourage them to open up by listening well. 
• If something is brought up that one of you is uncomfortable with, respect that and move on to the next thing. Never try to force your spouse to try something he or she is uncomfortable with, or make them feel guilty about their feelings and preferences. 

By the way, if talking about your sex life is too embarrassing or uncomfortable for either one of you, write your thoughts and your questions out for each other. This will obviously take longer, but it will accomplish the same goal.

We’ve got to tell you that this simple suggestion of talking to your spouse about what you both want in your love life is almost always rewarding. We’ve given this assignment to numerous couples in counseling and we know it works. Not only that, there’s biblical grounds for this conversation.

Pray and ask God to help you and your spouse fulfill each other’s needs.