Szerezd meg az alkalmazástStaying PowerMinta
Day Three
Pre-Decisions
Scripture: Proverbs 3:5–6; James 3:2, 17–18
Making a specific set of pre-decisions about how you and your spouse will act with each other in crisis can make a significant difference in your relationship. We suggest the following pre-decisions, or some very like them, to help you navigate your way through the next crisis with mutual support:
• I will practice automatic forgiveness. I realize that my spouse is no more perfect than I am—so therefore, in any crises that come our way, I will automatically forgive my spouse’s lapses, weaknesses, errors in judgment, unwise words, and flares of temper, just as I hope my spouse will forgive them in me.
• I will tame my tongue. I will strive to make my words positive, encouraging, helpful, kind, constructive, and biblical.
• I will persevere through failure. When failure happens, I won’t act or speak as if the sky is falling. I will work with my spouse to regroup, figure out what went wrong, and decide where we go from here. Every failure is a lesson learned, rather than the end of the world, and I will act accordingly.
• I will respond tenderly to my spouse’s needs. When my spouse asks something of me, when at all possible I will set aside whatever else I am doing and focus single-mindedly on my spouse’s need.
• I will not expect my spouse to read my mind. If I feel a need for something—whether it be affection, attention, resources of some kind, time, patience, forgiveness—I will take responsibility to express that need and not assume it is already known.
• I will accept my spouse just as he or she is. My job is not to change my spouse but to love and honor him or her.
• I will address concerns openly. If during a crisis my spouse develops unhealthy coping mechanisms, I will speak up in love, take action, and seek help.
• I will value what is important to my spouse. If it matters to my spouse, it matters to me. If my partner suggests that we need counseling, I will keep that option open.
• I will request and honor the advice of my spouse. We are a team, and I will value all input from my spouse before we make a final decision.
How do you respond to this list of pre-decisions? What is one way you can implement at least one of them this week?
A tervről
What is the difference between couples whose marriages improve in crisis and couples who don’t make it? In this week’s devotional, we’ll learn from two couples whose marriages grew stronger rather than weaker through extreme outside pressure. Whether you are facing crisis right now or simply want to prepare for challenges ahead, these ideas and stories will help you lean into grace—together.
More
