Overcoming Mom Guilt: Gospel Truth for Mothersדוגמה

I’ll never forget when my first son entered the toddler years. Everyone else’s toddlers were tantrum-throwing little maniacs, but not mine. Oh, no!

I just knew he wasn’t going to display such unsightly behavior. But, he did.

He kicked.

He screamed.

He tested limits and he refused to listen.

He did all the cringe-worthy things that other toddlers had done that I judged the moms for.

How silly I was to think I could stop those troubling toddler meltdowns with my superb parenting. Sigh. I was terribly mistaken and humbled.

You see, no matter how hard we try, no matter how many books we read, strategies we use, or discipline tactics we use we simply cannot control our children’s actions. It’s such a bummer!

Sure, we can guide them in the right direction and offer consequences so the wrong direction seems less appealing, but ultimately we can’t choose for them.

We have been given and they have been given, Heaven help us, our own right to choose.

They have free will to do as they please. And they will not always make decisions that please us. Especially when we’re in the checkout line at Target.

And because our children get to make their own choices about the way they live, we have to learn to refute the lie that we, their moms, are responsible for every decision they make. It’s an insidious little lie that gets in there. Our children are responsible for their own lives, their own choices, and the blessings or consequences that result from those choices. Just like we are.

What mothers are responsible for is instructing them well and leaving it up to them when it's the right time. Here’s what I mean.

In Joshua 24:14-15, Joshua is addressing the nation of Israel before his death. He had led the nation into the promised land decades earlier and had remained their leader ever since. Now, he was about to pass his mantle on to someone else. But before he did, he spoke a few words to the people.

He said: “Now fear the Lord and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your ancestors worshiped beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

We see here Joshua reminding the Israelites of the Lord’s goodness and faithfulness.

He calls them to commit to following the Lord all the days of their lives. He explains the benefits of a life with God and what happens from a life chasing idols. Then, he asks the people to make a choice.

The way Joshua led the Israelites is a good example for mothers.

He gave them all he had, quite literally. He’s including spelling out what he was going to choose, but he ultimately left the choice to them. And, that’s what we have to do too. It’s not our choice to make, it’s our children’s. We can set our kids up for success. We can give them as many tools and as much information as we can. Then we wait.

We wait to see what they’ll do, praying they, like the Israelites the generation after Joshua, make the choice we want them to make.

We don't have to feel mom guilt that we can't control every single thing. We may not be able to control everything our children do, but we can trust the one who loves them more than we do. We can trust the one who holds the world in His hand. The one who loves our children, who knows our children, and who has a good and wonderful plan for them.

We may not be able to do it all on our own, but He will guide them.

And for that, we can say amen.

Lord, help me to trust my children and their choices to you. Guide me as I guide them to love and serve you. Draw my children to yourself in ways I can’t on my own. I trust you with my children’s futures. Amen.