Taking Sex Seriously

1 Corinthians 13:4

“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”

Sometimes it might feel like saving sex for marriage and enjoying dating don’t go hand in hand. But it really all depends on your intention behind dating. Taking sex seriously begins when you take marriage seriously, which all starts by taking dating seriously.

Why are you dating? What is your goal? If you’re dating because you’re lonely or want affection, sex is a natural desire and an easy next step. If you want to feel good, physically and emotionally, and look for that satisfaction in another person, sex becomes an easy way to experience it. Temporary and fleeting, but easy.

However, if you’re dating people hoping to find someone to spend your life with, there are more important things to focus on than sexual pleasure. When you find yourself going on dates, asking good questions, and learning about someone’s life goals, vision for a family, definition of faith, and dreams for their future, connection, stimulation, and intimacy naturally take form in other ways.

As humans, we desire connection and intimacy, but sex isn’t the only way to get it. And it’s definitely not the way to experience it outside of marriage. When you take dating more seriously–when you focus on finding someone with similar beliefs, goals, and intentions as you–sex won’t always be at the forefront of your mind.

It’s not that you’re ignoring sex or your sexual desires. Ignoring them isn’t the way to avoid them. Instead, you’re choosing to honor God’s design for marriage and sex by focusing on dating well and finding a life partner.

You can take dating seriously and still have fun. And you can have fun dating without having sex. It all comes down to knowing why you’re dating, what you’re looking for, and finding someone who is looking for something similar.

So, take dating seriously. Take finding a life-long partner seriously. Take marriage seriously. And take saving yourself for marriage seriously. If marriage is something to be honored (as scripture says), and dating is the path to marriage, then dating should be honored too.