The Thing Beneath the ThingEsimerkki

Why Do I Do Those Things I Do?

Over the last decade, I’ve become fascinated by the question of why people do regrettable things. Or, better said, why do I do what I do? I’ve discovered there is always more at play than meets the eye. We can’t presume to know what makes us or others tick. The more I grow in faith and self-awareness, the more I’m beginning to see up close that we are all made up of hopes, fears, and desires.

My wife, Sarah, is usually the one who takes the kids to their well-child exams. So, as I drove my daughter, Mercy, to the doctor for her four-year checkup, she was already nervous. Maybe her dad wouldn’t be up to the challenge. Truth be told, I wasn’t so sure myself.

When the time came for her shots, she turned to me, crying. “Don’t let them do this to me, Daddy!” That plea shot straight to my gut. What I wanted to do was to push the needle-toting nurse out of the way, grab Mercy in my arms, and be the hero my daughter thinks I am. But I knew the medicine would help her body become stronger and fight sickness in order for her to thrive. So instead, I made her the only promise I could.

“Sis, it’s going to hurt for a little while, but it won’t hurt forever. You are brave and strong, and here’s what I can promise you: I will be right here, and I will not leave you.”

Sometimes, we have to go through the painful thing, the scary thing in order to get to the other side. In order to live. In order to thrive. Our instinct to protect ourselves and those we love from pain is good and natural but not always beneficial. What matters is that we know deep down we are strong enough to go through the pain, and we are not alone.

What are you most afraid of?

Whenever we don’t face this question head-on, we tend to keep going through those motions of avoidance we set for ourselves early on. As my wife often says, “We do what we want to do.” Ultimately, we stay stuck in patterns that aren’t best for us because we don’t want to do the work to find a better way. Sometimes we try another way only to quit when the going gets too hard, too vulnerable, too messy. And we end up right back in our old, unhealthy habits. We do what we want to do, what we’ve conditioned ourselves to do, until we get curious, and maybe even a little furious, about why we keep ending up in the same place. We begin to focus on why we do what we do.

We all have a familiar default position. Do you know what yours is? Are you willing to uncover it? Until you honor this truth, your life will be held in check. How can you embrace the unknown if you are always trying to re-create the known? The kindness of God is the invitation to get after the thing beneath the thing so you can discover an entirely new frontier of life, blessing, and God’s nearness. He promises in Scripture that we do not need to fear. Why? Because God loves us, and he is with us. God has a plan for our lives; we need only have faith in Jesus and trust His promise and His plan for us. He will protect and guide us. He will never leave us alone. We will know why we do what we do when we follow Jesus Christ. 

Respond

What are you most afraid of? 

Describe a time when you felt alone and afraid. How did God help you?

Prayer

Lord Jesus, thank you for the promise that I am never alone!